We stayed home

Tuki's 4k concert was tonight. So was her cousin's N. Tuki's was to start at 6:00 pm and N's at 7:00pm. This morning and yesterday I informed Tuki that when I picked her up from Angie's school tonight, we would go directly home and then she'd go take a quick nap before the concert. She was in agreement that this was good and she was excited about her performance tonight. Kiki was planning to attend as well.

Immediately upon arrival at Angie's school, I could tell she was in one of her moods. She told me she didn't need a nap, and started crying (the indication that she was truly tired and indeed needed a nap) I told her when we arrived home, she would go straight to bed and sleep until I woke her for supper. She bulked, but still slept a good 45 minutes. When I woke her, she started crying all over again. We were 1 hour from the start of the concert and 45 minutes from when she needed to be there. I told her she needed to either stop crying or we would stay home. She kept crying. I even tried to have Kiki talk her out of it over the phone. She wouldn't quit. I informed her we would be staying home.




At 5:45 pm, nine minutes from the start of her concert, she called to me telling me she was ready to be nice.

I went up to her and explained that I was glad she was ready but it is too late to go to her concert. We talked about her choice in being naughty. I also explained to her that I was also sad because I wanted to see her all dressed up and pretty and singing. She was sad. I feel like crying over the whole ordeal, but hopefully she will have learned that she can't act this way and get what she wants.

I know she is only 5, and there will be more concert and dance recitals, but I also know that this performing is "her thang" and she won't be able to have fun with it tonight and we won't be able to watch cousin N perform either. It is all so sad and hard sometimes but lessons sometimes are learned the hard way and I do pray Tuki learned her lesson tonight.

As I am writing this she is quietly in the kitchen pouring herself some cereal to eat for supper...since the hamburgers I made and were left for her, were gobbled up by Rembrandt, who was left alone in the kitchen, when I was dealing with Tuki, and the other two were busy outside.
Her quietness leads me to believe that the lesson perhaps has sunk in.

Sometimes life sucks!!

EDITED : she came to me and said "sorry"

EDITED AGAIN: another round of crying and defiance before bedtime...no lesson learned!?....we'll try again tomorrow.

Two Years Today

Ve has been home. Last night and this morning we ate those coconut snowballs. Ve loves coconut, she likes to tell how she and Mim ate it in Haiti.

Ve has grown S00000, SOOOOO, SOOOOOO much in two years. As I have stated before, sometimes it almost seems she is a different child. Ve and Mim talk quite often how Ve was a wild child at the O, and wild child she was upon homecoming. We went thru the stuff over the last two years, but I can honestly say that Ve not only knows right from wrong, she really does strive to do right. That says ALOT. I can honestly say and believe that Ve has taken such a turn that I feel if she continues on her new path, then she will be quite a successful and impressive young lady. Her goals are to work hard, get her homework done and done well and learn all that she can. This a HUGE step for her since she use to resist all forms of learning in the past. Her usual statements about herself run along the lines of "I am smart", "I am good at Math", "I am a good reader" .....notice a shift in her confidence. This shift has made all the difference in the world!! Love ya Ve!! Happy 2 year Veve!!!

First Big Snow Storm of the Season

Mim's BB tourney was canceled, Kiki came over, we played, hiked and walked and threw snow. Later we ate Chinese food. It was a good day even though our plans took a drastic change from the original.
Kik pulling Ve & Tuki

the annual photo of Tuki's hat covering her face

DaVinci playing in the snow

Rem & DaVinc horse-playing in the snow

Rem

Tuki swinging, Heath in the background

Ve attempting to pull Kiki

The wee ones attempt at building a snowman with dry snow.

Mim, Kiki and the six pooches (2 are Kik's and 4 are ours) walking at the WELLS

Ve and Tuki napping in the snow while we walked and yes Tuki really did fall asleep and Ve was pretending. If you have never tried sleeping in the snow all bundled up, you really should try sometime...VERY RELAXING and WARM!!!

The Spirited Child

Several years ago I read the book "Raising the Spirited Child" thinking it might be Tuki. Upon finishing the book, I decided that it wasn't about her at all. Now I am not so sure.














Listed below are signs of a spirited/temperamental child. I have highlighted the behaviors that Tuki exhibits quite frequently

Here are 10 signs which indicate that this isn't just a phase, more a matter of natural temperament:

1. Slamming doors at a young age - a bad preview of teen years

2. Lack of resilience - the slightest thing will set her off

3. Frequent tears - regardless of the day, there are usually several long crying jags

4. Easily slighted - if other kids do anything perceived as leaving her out, she comes unglued

5. Easy mark - related to the above, she's a desirable target for other kids because for very little teasing investment they can get a huge reaction

6. Lack of emotional control - where other kids her age seem to be able to hold themselves together, she loses is completely at the slightest provocation

7. Very sensitive - of course this is also a gift. She is highly attuned to other people, particularly if she perceives that they need help. She is very sensitive to loud noises, temperature changes, and bright light.

8. Nervous - She is very nervous at night, despite sharing a bed with her twin sister.

9. Easily disrupted - She has very excellent concentration for her age and loves to work on projects undisturbed. If she does get bothered, she loses it.

10. Sweet girl - When she is happy, it's like the sun lights up her face and the entire household can't help but smile.

and

1. Intensity. This is one of the easier traits to spot. The loud, dramatic, ear-piercing shrieks that can be heard from down the street or across the grocery store. There is no halfway for an intense child. They have powerful tantrums, but they also shout with glee and laughter. This is one of the most challenging tempermental traits to manage.

2. Persistence. Spirited children often have a one track mind. Once they have an idea, they are extremely fixated on it. It’s hard to get them to change their minds. They demand more than other kids demand and they never give up. They make it very hard to be ignored or to be distracted

3. Sensitivity. Spirited kids are keenly aware of every little noise, smells, lights, textures, and/or other people’s moods. Big stores can be overwhelming. Getting dressed can be a real battle with these children because they notice every scratchy tag, usually hate socks, and are very sensitive to the way things feel. They really do know the difference between brands of applesauce.

4. Perceptiveness. These kids get sidetracked easily because there is just so much stuff for them to notice along the way and their senses are keen. They see, feel, and hear things that others don’t notice. These kids are often accused of not listening or being unable to focus.

5. Adaptability. Spirited children can be slow to shift gears from one activity to the next. Because transitions occur frequently throughout the day, this can be a significant factor in how your day with a spirited child progresses.

There are some days that we, Mim, Ve and I are completely worn out by her strong emotions. I had hoped it was a phase when young, but I am thinking we will be here for a long while. More nights than not this week I have sent her to her bedroom to work through her tears to no avail. I had thought maybe she was overly tired since starting 4k since she has lost her nap, and that certainly is an issue that we may be addressing second semester (switching her to a morning 4K so she can get a nap), but her extreme behaviors are not always related to being tired, sometimes it is directly related to her not getting her way, which she wants all the time... Lord give me patience, because some days I have none.

Grandma's gift - Dress-Up clothes

so the girls put on a fashion show

I see a future here -beautiful!!

posing for the camera

more posing

wowser!!

and they finished with a concert

Weekend & Christmas photo

Yesterday we had another HOOPS tourney a few hours away. Mim played a couple minutes in the first game, none in the second and about 8 minutes total in the third game. I am still struggling with the little amount of time she plays, and I have talked with the coach to no avail. Mim does get upset when she doesn't play, but in the end she and the team was awarded a big medal for 3rd place in the tourney. It is a roller coaster of emotions for her and me, yet I can't deny that she is getting better at playing, AND more importantly she seems to really like Basketball or believe I would never even consider this nonsense.

Today, after church, we ran to Walmart to pick up dog and cat food....but we had a surprise, ethnic Santa was there AND we received a free photo..can't beat that!!



Later today Grandma will be coming to bring Tuki and Ve their birthday presents. More than likely I will post more post birthday present photos. LOL

The handsome DR team - 11 months

DaVinci (red tri) and Rembrandt (black tri) aussies - both Humane Society adoptions