Mim has been terrible this year. Today, on Mother's Day she was really horrible. She pushes so hard for independence, to be like all her teenage friends yet she lacks so much base knowledge from not living in USA and with me until she was 12 1/2 years old. I really hate to say this out loud, but here it goes. I now finally understand why people hesitate to adopt older children. There just isn't enough time or years before the really ugly times begin. Believe me, they are ugly too, due to adoption and all that goes with it, due to her personalty, due to my parenting style, due to what, all of it probably, I don't know, but this ride with her has been anything but pleasant this last year.
She can't spell to save her soul (understandable), her reading level is WAY below grade level (understandable), her sense of directions and awareness of her surroundings are very poor (not understandable), she remembers a few directions for instructions and then it is gone. I can literally follow her around the house as to where she leaves her chores half done ALL the TIME!! She is stubborn, argumentative, trying to wear seductive clothing (bra showing, skin tight clothing) to school since she has a bad crush on a certain boy. She is proving to be untrustworthy whenever she thinks I won't catch her. I just don't feel we have had enough time to allow my teaching to get into her soul and now she follows her friends advice, even if it is bad, rather than mine. Yet, she wants me to let her drive next year, and have more independence. It just isn't going to happen. The other day she asked me if she should push #1 on the elevator to go to 1st floor. She was serious, she didn't know. SUCH A HUGE GAP OF EVERYDAY KNOWLEDGE TO FUNCTION IN THIS SOCIETY and she wants to drive a huge people killing machine but can't find her way around our town and lacks awareness of her surroundings...Yikes!!!!!
When she is good, she is smiling, chatty, helpful, sweet, kind, but that Mim is far and few lately. I know we are in the terrible teens but I sure don't trust her judgment lately and that SCARES me. I love her all the time, but some days, like today I really don't like her too much and I know the feeling is mutual with her as well. If you are the praying kind, please pray for us and how we navigate through this rough year and beyond. Thanks
Sunday, May 13, 2012
The Truth--a vent
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
My Travels
3 comments:
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I know of some websites and books that have helped me if you're interested. my email is janesescape at hotmail dot com.
Hugs to you.
I hope it will get better this summer. Sorry you are going through such a hard year.
I too am sorry and I get it. My two came home late last year, ages 9 and 8 now and I already feel like there is such little time and I now understand it too. My daughter (Grade 3) is like a Grade 1 in every single way when it comes to maturity, my son is like a kindergartener. They are wonderful children, fabulous, but they don't have the basic common sense/street smart/ability to think that other children their age have. They are so concrete about things and easily follow. It is a major worry that we are so close to those years (which seem to start younger and younger) and I worry so much that they won't have the skills to pull back from what they are exposed to or what people try to draw them into and think first before they act. The impulsivity for both is scary, too.
Love them dearly, fiercely, am so so so blessed to be a mum but worry so much about their future.
Good luck!
Post a Comment