Not all the citizens of Africa

are black, and not all black people in the world are from Africa. Take my daughter Panda for an example, she is Haitian. Yes, at one time her ancestors were from some country in Western Africa, but I bet if you ask her what her nationality is, she'd say Haitian. Also consider the population of African Americans in the USA.
Many can also trace their ancestry back to some country in Africa, but I'd lay money on the fact that many AA would say they are USA citizens, and they'd be right.

Heck, We can all proudly trace our ancestry back to some other country, and we also proudly state we are USA citizens. Pride due to where we have come from and pride as to where we are.

I say this because I think as adoptive parents of trans-racial children we need to be clear in that whenever we talk about the CONTINENT of Africa, we distinguish between each of the countries of Africa. Here, in the good ole USA (and I do believe it is good), Africa is usually talked about as though it is a homogeneous group of people that all belong and live in the same country, rather than a continent. We distinguish other countries in our conversation; such as I say Tuks was born in Guatemala, I don't say Central America. Why, because I know that Guatemala is a country of it's own with different languages, laws, customs, and religions than other countries in central America.

It is the same among the different countries of Africa. This may seem a insignificant detail, but somewhere deep inside me, I think we label the continent of Africa, like a country, because there is the racist, or prejudiced, or uneducated thought that "they all look and act a like, don't they", so what is the big deal. Please enlighten me if you think I am wrong.

I happen to think it is a big deal, and if we hope to pave the path of respect, and break down boundaries based on color, and instill pride in our children, their cultures and their heritage, then I think we need to start with how we see the world, and one way is to recognize that Africa is made of many countries, and each country is distinctively different than another located within the same continent. The citizens of Africa believe it enough to war and die over their differences.

That fact alone should convince us.

Please take no offense over this post, just expressing my opinions to the blog world.

WHY????

The last few days have been tough on me. I have a lot of personal gunk floating around in my brain that needs sorting out. I am not my usual happy self and that bothers me a lot. I tend not to blog when I am struggling, because just like in my daily life, I also think my blogger friends don't want to hear whine, irritation and complaining.

It requires much energy to stay upbeat in front of others when you are feeling anything but that, so I stay away or just plaster a smile on and keep moving.

But I have decided to share some of my thoughts. Beware, you may not like what you read.

1. Why does the adoption process take so long?
2. Why does each step have it's hang-ups?
3. Why am I so set on wanting to parent three children?
4. Can I wait 4 more years for the third child?
5. Will there be countries open to singles in 4 years?
6. How will my finances stay afloat during CC season, with paying for daycare,
Tuki's babysitter during meets, and Panda's adoption?
7. Why is it that the people who have much money have no desire to adopt and care
for more children, while there are those people with minimal money want to care
for many children?
8. Why does my van break down when I am coming into the fall, when my finances are
tighter than any other time of the year?
9. Why do I always feel like I am on the "outside" looking in.
10. Why aren't my gourds producing female flowers, thus gourds this year?
11. How come so many people think only of themselves, and won't put themselves out
for others?
12. Why do I like to blog when I receive so much flak for it from those closest to
me?
13. Why do I let M's lack of effort in coming to my aid, make me feel worthless, when
I know he could never and can never be counted on? It is just who he is and not
a reflection on me.
14. Why am I so restless sometimes?
15. What makes me think I am capable of parenting children of different races?
16. Why does the color of skin matter???

Here is my big why question: this is one of the reasons why I am on the outside looking in.

17. Why do parents allow their kids to take frogs and turtles, and other critters from their natural setting and drag them home, and then let them die? They say no to other things, why not no to destroying another organism's life. And I'm sorry it DOES not make a funny story. A child just destroyed another's life. What possible lesson could these kids be learning except that it is OK to abuse another life just because they don't see, the parents don't see value in it.. It that such a big leap from other humans not valuing people of other color just because they don't see value in them? There are many studies stating that kids that abuse animals could someday be abusive to other people. Yet, parents, everyday, everywhere, (I have read about it in the blog world numerous times, and recently witnessed it at our local river)) allow their kids to capture and eventually kill animals just because they are "feared", "ugly", "wet", "slimy", "not considered important", "want to take it home". I have much more I could say, but I'll just leave at this for now.

Why is this OK????

I'd really like to know.................. God created all things and he considered them good, why can we abuse them or allow them to be abused just because our kids like to catch them and bring them home. My dad always use to say to me. "Don't treat another living thing any differently than you want to be treated"

I know some reading this may think this is an inconsequential topic, but remember our kids catch our values, and if we don't value all life, then how are we going to teach them to value all life, no matter the species, breed, or color.

If they (all organisms) were created and born by God, they are of value, they are good............

organism = anything that is alive...remember I am a science teacher, therefore I am compelled to teach........

Swimming in Extreme Cuteness

We had a jam packed weekend and it's not even over yet.

First I'd like to yeah WaHoo for three other families adopting children at the same orphanage as Panda. They should be traveling at the end of August to pick their kids up after a loooooooooonnnnnnnnnnngggggggg wait. It is exciting to see as they are the first children that I have seen come home from the O that I am working with. There has been a Haitian government hold-up that literally held up 300-400 children from many O's from coming home, since January 2007. It is starting to move again...

On Thursday I took Tuks for her first ever movie in the theatre. It was a great deal. The theatre held a children's day, and the movie was $2.50 for me, and free for her since she is under two. Then on top of that, they also gave each of us a free small bag of buttered popcorn. What a deal!!! I never knew things like this existed. We plan to go again next week since she did so well. The movie was "Charlotte's Web" with Dakota Fanning. One of my all time favorite stories.

Then Friday night, my family came over for my birthday. It was real sweet of them, plus it was a blast for me to watch Tuki and her cousin N play together. The older Tuks gets, the better they play. They truly enjoy each other's company. You know how sometimes you have this image how you desire things to be and work out. Well when I was adopting Tuki, I had hoped, not requested, just hoped in my heart that my child, whomever they would be, would be close in age to N, so that they could enjoy each other's company. Well with Tuki's referral and then watching those two play, it is like the reality is better than what I ever imagined. They are 1 year and 9 days apart in age.

Then this morning, we went to another local fair. My sister, BIL, cousin N, and Tuks and me. It was a fun time as usual. The girls did great, saw many animals, went on rides, and enjoyed free children activities sponsored by various local groups.

Just to note my niece has been edited out of the pictures, to keep her identity hidden, per her parent's request. You will just have to imagine how cute those two are together, because believe me, they are CUTE!!


Tuks playing footsie with cousin N.






















Tuks and cousin N on the bumble bee ride.



Swimming in corn....and cuteness of course!!!!!!!!!!!




African Pgymy goat and her kid. The kid was no bigger than a rat terrier dog.


Baby Bunnies..........ohh so hugable, but for good reason they didn't let us hold them



Tuks and Cousin N on the Truck Merry-go-round.



Uncle W, tickling Tuks to extreme pleasure!!!

Time for a Vote

First Hibiscus of the summer opened up last night!!!!!!! I love these!!!



I attempted a photo shoot of Tuks in her dress. It didn't go well, actually it went very badly. The two photos below are the best of the lot, and they aren't that great. Which one should I send to Panda..Picture 1 or Picture 2.


Picture #1






















Picture #2

Happy Birthday

to me, and in the spirit of keeping track of Tuki's age in months, I will reveal that I am 528 months old!!!!!!!!


Or in other words I am getting older with each passing minute, but I am not complaining. I have always thought that to truly enjoy life a person should embrace their age every year, and every birthday is important!!!

So today is a great day and Tuks and I will spend quality time together, and then tomorrow my family will come over for celebration, since we have an informational cross country meeting that needs to be attended tonight.

Also Happy Birthday to my childhood friend B. We share the same birthday. Both Leos, both fire signs..

Requesting opinions ---don't be shy!!

I am sending Panda a little gift package. A kind parent, who will bringing her two daughters home SOON, has offered to bring it to Haiti with her.



doll holding a stuffed dog


I am sending her 2 short/shirt outfits and 1 dress, and a doll. I noticed when I showed her the family album of photos that I left behind that she likes dolls and she is afraid of dogs. So I am also sending the doll holding a stuffed dog.

Now here is the question...I'm torn on this. I also purchased Tuki the same dress, I just thought it was so pretty.
Should I take a picture of Tuks in it, have it enlarged and laminated and then state something about your sister Tuki is waiting for you to come to America. My thoughts are that the same dress might help make her feel more connected to us. But what do others think... could it cause a different reaction??

Remember Panda is 3 1/2 years old. Her age may make a difference in your thoughts....

Tagged by a MEME for me me

I have been tagged by Cloudscome (link on side) with a anti-racist parent meme..

first time I have ever been tagged a meme for me me..

By the way what is a Meme???

1. I am:
German and Russian from my dad's side and Irish, and Welsh on my mom's side.

2. My kids are:
Tuki (20 months), is Guatemalan, and are descended from the Mayan and Spanish. Panda (3 1/2 years),is Haitian, and still is in Haiti. Haitians descended from the western Africa during the slave trade.

3. I first started thinking more about race, culture, and identity when:
I remember thinking about it quite young. It was Elvis Presley's song "In the Ghetto" that would and still does have a profound effect on me. I would think how all babies are born innocent and with "clean slates" and then depending on the color of their skin, who their parents are/were and where they are born they all grow up to be different people. None of it is their choice. It use to make me very sad, wishing I could do something about this great "injustice".

Another incident that impacted me was in 1985, I was living in Mississippi for the summer, and I was standing in a check out line at a gas station. There was a black woman standing in line before me, but the cashier (white) turned to me and said she could help me now, and I said "Thank you, but she is in line before me, I will wait until after you have helped her" . I remember the black woman just stood there silently the whole time this interaction went on. I had the feeling it wasn't the first time she was treated so rudely.

Of course over my expanse of the life it has grown to the point where I am now growing my family through adoption and with children of different races. It will continue to be much more fore front of an issue then ever before.

4. People think my name is:
Chris..people always think I look like a Chris..........

5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is:
That even though they may fall down, or are pushed down, they will pick themselves back up and go at "it", whatever it is again. Success comes with the price of many failures...

6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is:
Thinking we are "right" all the time, and trying to talk over each other when trying to prove our point.

7. My child’s first word in English was:
Tuki: Mama, and Panda: I'm not sure yet, and I am excited to find out one day.

8. My child’s first non-English word was:
Not sure for either, since both had a different first language than English.
Tuki's first language is Spanish, and Panda's first language is Creole


9. The non-English word/phrase most used in my home is:
"Te amo me cielo", "I love you my sky" to Tuks every night when I put her to bed.


10. One thing I love about being a parent is:
Watching them grow and learn new things.

11. One thing I hate about being a parent is:
Not knowing if I am doing the right thing, and the responsibility of their lives and protection in my hands.

12. To me, being an anti-racist parent means:
I can’t say it any better than what Carmen and Cloudscome already said: “It means that I never stop working on myself. I want to keep reading, writing, learning, and reflecting so that I can be the best role-model and influence I can be to my future children.” I want to be open to always learning and growing, watching the world become better.

I also want to add, that I want to be open about all topics in discussing any issue that the kids may encounter, and teach them be be proud of themselves, accept how others may seem them differently, and yet still be open to how others are different than they are. I think to be open-minded about most views, even if they don't agree, they can still be accepting, as long it is not down right mean and cruel.

I don't know how to tag anyone else, so if you would like to participate, let me know and I'll come over and read yours too.