More 2 1/2week chicken jokes- since I seem to be a 1/2 week off

aI asked an array of celebrities and famous people if they knew why exactly the chicken wanted to cross the road. Here is what they had to say . . . .

PLATO: For the greater good

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it

JACK NICHOLSON: ..cause it f*****g wanted to. That's the f*****g reason

RONALD REAGAN: I forget

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in it's pancreas

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it ?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, what the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your cheque book

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, 'why did the chicken cross the road?' rather, it is, 'who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road....it transcended it

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

NATO: We cannot have chickens wandering over the roads whenever they feel like it

CLINT EASTWOOD: To make my day

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: He was too quick for me to ask....but 'he'll be back!'

BILL CLINTON: What the chicken does in his private life is his own business

AL GORE: Only a chicken? The rest of the chickens need to be counted also

GEORGE BUSH: To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.

ROSEANNE BARR: Urrrrrp. What chicken?

HOWARD COSELL: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.

STAN LAURE: I'm sorry, Ollie. It escaped when I opened the run.

GOTFRIED VON LEIBNIZ: In this best possible world, the road was made for it to cross.

GROUCHO MARX: Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.

KARL MARX: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.

ALFRED E. NEUMAN: What? Me worry?

SIR ISAAC NEWTON: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

THOMAS PAINE: Out of common sense.

PYRRHO THE SKEPTIC: What road?

AYN RAND: It was crossing the road because of its own rational choice to do so. There cannot be a collective unconscious; desires are unique to each individual.

JOHN SUNUNU: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE: I don't know why, but methinks I could rattle off a hundred-line soliloquy without much ado.

SOCRATES: To pick up some hemlock at the corner druggist.

MR. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

MARK TWAIN: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

MAE WEST: I invited it to come up and see me sometime.

WALT WHITMAN: To cluck the song of itself.

WILLIAM WORDSWORTH: To have something to recollect in tranquility.

HENNY YOUNGMAN: Take this chicken ... please.