Ve’s fourth month Update.

Enjoying a bowl of popcorn. One of her favorite foods.

I want to take some time in talking about some of Ve’s orphanage survival behaviors that I have noticed. Being a person who is very familiar with animal behaviors, I can’t help but notice the similarity between some of Ve’s survival behaviors and an animal’s survival behavior. All purely instinctual. It is quite fascinating, aggravating, and sometimes it frightens me to think we may not be able to turn them around to more typical, acceptable behaviors. I also wanted to record them in the blog since it will be fun to look back and see that many of these survival behaviors have been extinguished with time.

The first behavior is what I call “CLAIMING”. Once Ve has attached her self to an item of her liking, she will lay claim to the item and make darn well sure Tuks does not have it or touch it. She has claimed it as her own. It will go to bed with her, lay around in her cached pile, and even be forgotten, but Tuks had not better touch it. I, of course don’t allow this to happen once I notice it is going on. Items and gifts that are truly Ve’s, I allow her to claim, items or gifts that are shared, I remind Ve constantly that it is hers and Tuks. Sometimes, when I get frustrated with all the arguing over things. I make a point in telling both girls that the said items are actually in fact mine, Mamas, but I am choosing to share them with both of the girls. It works every time.

Another behavior is “STALKING”. For example in one situation, I had given Tuks a 0-3 month old diaper that had come in the mail so that she could place it on her Bear bear. The minute I had done this, without thinking of course, I saw my mistake. Ve’s eyes light up and it was obvious she WANTED that diaper. Yet, it was too late, it was already in Tuks possession. So I would say for a good 30 plus minutes, Tuks played with the diaper and Ve followed her around literally from room to room, quietly watching and waiting for Tuks to put the diaper down. The minute it was out of Tuks hands, Ve grabbed it up and placed it on Bear bear. It was at that moment that Ve was satisfied and could move on to another toy. I was extremely amazed at her diligence in waiting it out for the one chance to grab the diaper. I don’t step in on this action unless I see that there might be a problem created between the two. So far it has been ok.

When Ve sees a new food on her plate, or on the counter being prepared for a meal, she picks it up and “SNIFFS” it. Just like an animal would do. I would imagine this would come from finding food where ever she could and then sniffing it before trying it. I have gotten on her many times to not sniff the food and this behavior is slowly coming around.

If Ve notices an item of interest in Tuks possession, she will “GRAB” it right out of Tuks hands. Now, Tuks response is to usually smack Ve. A behavior I have been working on getting Tuks to stop. Yet, I can’t blame Tuks when Ve just grabs items away from her. This behavior is also slowly improving. I have seen Ve start to grab, then pause look at me, and then stop her actions because she knows she is not to do this. I have taught her to ask for an item with the understanding the party holding the coveted item may say no.

If Ve knows where we are heading she will quickly “RACE” ahead of Tuks to reach the desired item or location to ensure she gets first choice, first chance, or best option. I remind Ve not to race ahead of Tuks, but to walk along side of her. This is what sisters and family do and mean to each other. Sharing, walking, loving, not competing. Ever so slowly she seems to be getting it.

Our love for each other as a family is growing in leaps and bounds. Though the girls get into sibling spats, they truly do love each other. My love for Ve is also growing exponentially as well. The more we are able to communicate, the better we understand and are able to share our thoughts, feelings, and wants with each other.

Ve fits into our family extremely well. She is quite adaptable, lovable and as I have said earlier, funny. She loves nothing more than to laugh. She still is not too fond of the weather even though to me it is so much nicer. Her request each morning is for two shirts to keep her warm. She plays outside with as much vigor and energy as Tuks does now. She has explored much of the yard, even though she checks in often to see what and where I am working in the yard. I look forward to each and every day that I spend with her. She is a joy!!