Character vs. Personality

After nearly six months home Mim is still an easy child. On most days, I say most because she isn't perfect, just a really good kid, she is a great big sister. Mim and Tuki are now starting to bond, and Mim is beginning to look after Tuki like a big sister usually does. So I began to wonder, why Mim's transition has been so smooth, especially for a 12 1/2 year old..there are many horror stories of this age of child joining a family and especially out of birth order, yet she is truly a wonderful child. Is it because she chose to be adopted?, maybe, Is it because her birth family situation was one of poverty, not of neglect?, maybe, Is it because while at the O, she dedicated her life to Jesus Christ? highly possible, Or maybe all, some or maybe even none. I REALLY DON'T KNOW. BUT, I do know that Mim does have a good personality and a good, intact unblemished character.

Then I look at Tuki, she came home young. She doesn't like to be told no, my friend calls her the "General" because she likes to tell people what to do. She has a hot temper, she is overly dramatic on many days, she even can be a real turd to her sisters on some days, but you can see glimpses of kindness, right from wrong and a real desire to learn and be pleasant. Tuki has a difficult personality some days, OK, most days but I am hoping part of it is due to her age, yet she posses a really good, unblemished character.

Then I look at Ve. She is usually smiley, unscathed by her very troubled past (her past is very unpleasant by most standards and by far compared to her sisters). She seems to jump right back no matter the circumstances, and isn't overly dramatic, nor orders anyone around, she loves to be silly...etc., BUT, Ve's character had been scarred, tampered with. She gets into trouble daily for not listening and being overly active and out of control. She and five boys are the naughty bunch in her class... These bad choices in behavior is escalated into deeper trouble because then she chooses to attempt to lie to cover them up. A battle I have talked about before and certainly not one that I feel is getting better. She needs to learn to make good choices over the bad choices, because guaranteed, when both sit in front of her, she chooses the bad one. I NEED to continue to teach her right from wrong, and it is real exhausting most days. To reiterate, Ve has a great personality, but a tarnished beat up character...where some where along the way, right and wrong had been turned upside down. Therefore, she has been and still is my most difficult child. With out a doubt, I believe that if I am able to raise Ve to be a law-abiding upright and productive citizen, I will have earned my parenting stripes....

Character is etched deep down, personality sits on the surface. Character is much harder to change simply because it is so deeply etched from experiences had over time.

They are all so different, but I could not love any three people more deeply, even tho, most days I feel I am hard on them, I know down deep we are doing well as a family, therefore I must be doing Ok. But I still do wonder .......