The Spirited Child

Several years ago I read the book "Raising the Spirited Child" thinking it might be Tuki. Upon finishing the book, I decided that it wasn't about her at all. Now I am not so sure.














Listed below are signs of a spirited/temperamental child. I have highlighted the behaviors that Tuki exhibits quite frequently

Here are 10 signs which indicate that this isn't just a phase, more a matter of natural temperament:

1. Slamming doors at a young age - a bad preview of teen years

2. Lack of resilience - the slightest thing will set her off

3. Frequent tears - regardless of the day, there are usually several long crying jags

4. Easily slighted - if other kids do anything perceived as leaving her out, she comes unglued

5. Easy mark - related to the above, she's a desirable target for other kids because for very little teasing investment they can get a huge reaction

6. Lack of emotional control - where other kids her age seem to be able to hold themselves together, she loses is completely at the slightest provocation

7. Very sensitive - of course this is also a gift. She is highly attuned to other people, particularly if she perceives that they need help. She is very sensitive to loud noises, temperature changes, and bright light.

8. Nervous - She is very nervous at night, despite sharing a bed with her twin sister.

9. Easily disrupted - She has very excellent concentration for her age and loves to work on projects undisturbed. If she does get bothered, she loses it.

10. Sweet girl - When she is happy, it's like the sun lights up her face and the entire household can't help but smile.

and

1. Intensity. This is one of the easier traits to spot. The loud, dramatic, ear-piercing shrieks that can be heard from down the street or across the grocery store. There is no halfway for an intense child. They have powerful tantrums, but they also shout with glee and laughter. This is one of the most challenging tempermental traits to manage.

2. Persistence. Spirited children often have a one track mind. Once they have an idea, they are extremely fixated on it. It’s hard to get them to change their minds. They demand more than other kids demand and they never give up. They make it very hard to be ignored or to be distracted

3. Sensitivity. Spirited kids are keenly aware of every little noise, smells, lights, textures, and/or other people’s moods. Big stores can be overwhelming. Getting dressed can be a real battle with these children because they notice every scratchy tag, usually hate socks, and are very sensitive to the way things feel. They really do know the difference between brands of applesauce.

4. Perceptiveness. These kids get sidetracked easily because there is just so much stuff for them to notice along the way and their senses are keen. They see, feel, and hear things that others don’t notice. These kids are often accused of not listening or being unable to focus.

5. Adaptability. Spirited children can be slow to shift gears from one activity to the next. Because transitions occur frequently throughout the day, this can be a significant factor in how your day with a spirited child progresses.

There are some days that we, Mim, Ve and I are completely worn out by her strong emotions. I had hoped it was a phase when young, but I am thinking we will be here for a long while. More nights than not this week I have sent her to her bedroom to work through her tears to no avail. I had thought maybe she was overly tired since starting 4k since she has lost her nap, and that certainly is an issue that we may be addressing second semester (switching her to a morning 4K so she can get a nap), but her extreme behaviors are not always related to being tired, sometimes it is directly related to her not getting her way, which she wants all the time... Lord give me patience, because some days I have none.