An Analogy

I have been thinking about this analogy for some time. I am going to attempt to explain it, and if you don't understand what I am attempting to say, then please email me, but please no flames.

Imagine there is a boy, named Johnny. Johnny is a wonderful boy, social, athletic, super kind and nice etc., He posses all incredible character traits, but also to be human he has a few negative ones as well. He also possess a physical trait that causes others to look at him in sympathy. You see Johnny is blind. Yet, Johnny's other senses has adapted to the loss of his sight, and they have become stronger, and basically filled in the niche that his sight would have fulfilled in obtaining direction, and making sense of his surrounding world. At a glance, you wouldn't even notice he was blind, and Johnny and his family doesn't see his blindness anymore, but to anyone NOT in his family, the first thing they may notice is that Johnny can't see, and they feel sorry for Johnny. Poor Johnny he can't see the flowers, sunset etc., the list could on and on. Yet, Johnny and his family don't feel like they are poor, don't need or want to be pitied, because they have had the opportunity to experience the world in a completely different way than if they had all their sight. Plus they are stronger and more blessed because of it. They consider themselves fortunate to have this opportunity to experience the world in a completely different way than most other people.

OK, I hope you see my point here.

Now, take this same analogy and apply it to adoption. We, adoptive family's have compensated for the missing biological link by working hard and making attachments, love, bonding, and memories. We work so hard at it, to the point we don't notice the niche that was once occupied through the biological link. It doesn't exist anymore. It has been filled in. So, we walk around usually not cognisant of this fact after a time. Yes, in the beginning, during the process of adoption, and then initially once they are home, we focus on it. But over time, it becomes a non-issue, and just casual, normal conversation unless our children want to talk about it in more depth.

For me, I do not, and have stopped seeing the differences and all I see are how we are the same. We are family, and yet, when others look at us, they may still see the ....... family that has adopted kid(s). We don't notice, and perhaps that is all they notice, hopefully just at first, but then in time, hopefully they won't see the differences, but rather the sameness in our family. We lack nothing, and if anything we are able to see the world in a wonderful and beautiful, and yes a different way, yet a strong family. Nothing is missing, and if anything we are stronger for it, and I feel more blessed for this opportunity to see the world in a different, more beautiful, and miraculous way.