I have just been involved in a heated discussion on the Haitian yahoo group. What is wrong with me, I rarely if ever get involved in one of those since there never seems to be any compromising on people's position. I must be fed up with this whole adoption process and just want Mim home to be done with it all. I will be dropping out of most if not all those groups once Mim is home because it can drive a person batty and I have frankly heard enough...OK, just had to get it off my chest!!
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Today I showed Ve a picture of her birth mom holding Ve when she was first brought to the O. I asked Ve if she remembered her Haitian Mum. Ve said "No" while trying to hide behind my chair. A sure sign she was not liking the situation. I asked her one more time and she said no again. Then she went to a picture of me and said "my Mom". I said "yes, I am your Mum, whiling giving her a hug and kiss. OK I would say pretty well bonded, but also like I have thought. She seems to have left all of Haiti behind. When looking at a picture of herself, she says "Ve", using the American name that I have given her. She identifies with her new name and not with any part of her Haitian name. She has even forgotten some of the names of the kids at the O, where as a few months ago she could easily rattle them off...What to make of all this, I really don't know.
She seems very happy, and seems to show fear that anything relating to Haiti means she will be sent back (my interpretation). So I think I will not bring it up again in conversation unless she does it first.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
My Mum
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4 comments:
Poor Ve. These are such hard times for little ones. Hopefully as she gets more comfortable with and confident in her life here, she'll feel more comfortable talking about life in Haiti.
when she can understand you better you guys can talk about the whole "giving up" aspect, and talk about her mom loved her and that is why you are now her mom too. i tried to have the talk in "krenglish" because that is when G asked me, when she was still halfway in kreyol, and it was so hard to explain it all! i was hoping she got it. she's been fine about it all so i guess so!
she will remember and talk about when the time is right. dont you wish you could just read their little mind? she might say "NO" in fear that she will get sent back if she doesnt acknowledge you as her mom. I left Haiti when I was 13 years old to live with my mom and it was hard and I remember feeling like I was betraying my aunt who had raised me and was my mom for the first 13 years of my life.
See I turn out fine ( So I think)LOL, she ll be fine too.
First of all, I was proud of you for standing up on that group. Even if it was not going to change that person's position. Something about those two: just not right. So, you got some common sense injected in there.
Wow, interesting about the picture. Some day she will want to talk about it, when she is feeling secure. I think no matter what happened in the past, someone really loved her, it's apparent by the way that she is adjusting well.
Hope Mim is ready soon. We need to get these kids home!!!
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