The CALL

Two years ago this day, I received the call at 8:30am, and received precious photos of my baby girl via email. She was only 28 hours old at the time of the call.
This was after a 11 month wait from the start and AFTER losing 4 referrals from September thus causing me to eat ALOT and gaining an extra 15 lbs. I remember thinking I was never going to be a Mom, and scared because there was talk that Guatemala was going to shut down adoption to singles. Well here we are, two years later and all is well, and almost all the extra pounds are gone too. The journey to Tuki, good friends and family helps in sustaining me through the rough times to my girls in Haiti.

International adoption and/or the trans-racial adoption journey is not easy, nor is it over once they are home. There is so much eduction that needs to occur. Education on so many levels; to me, my kids and the communities surrounding us. Yet some days I am just too tired to want to, but I must, for the sake of my kids.
It is all so WORTH it. The memories of the rough times helps me appreciate when we are in the good times.

This time in waiting for Panda and Cheetah will pass, and soon, in a loooong blink of an eye they will be home too. Mind you, this blink is so long that I and everyone I know thinks I now have a droopy, disabled eye, but it will eventually open and then there they will be, in person on a daily basis.

If you are also waiting for your child(ren) to come home, I urge you to hold on to this thought, they will also be home before you know it, and the WAIT will be a distant memory.


1 day


2 years

HAPPY BIRTDAY TUKI

Tuki turns two tomorrow, Nov. 29th at 4:30am. I am posting tonight because I won't have time in the morning, and then tomorrow night we will go out to eat with friend E and possibly pick up a gift for Tuki from neighbor A. Her big birthday party with the family will be Saturday, December 8th.


Sweet Tuki is a jigging




















and a jagging to music. She can also really get her hips moving. It is so funny watching her swagger her little bum.



















One gift tonight because we won't have time to play tomorrow morning. She loves to help me vacuum. It takes me twice as long to get the job done because she is holding it with me. I found this little baby at Kohl's and it sounds like the real thing. She loved it. She also loved the box and wires in came in.














Cleaning under the ottoman with the vac.














Multi-tasking with the vac



















Making sure she shuts it off before it is put away in the closet with Mama's vac.

SHOUT OUTS

I have been busy with starting and learning a new business, creating our Christmas card photo and finishing Cheetah's dossier. This is in between working full time and mothering Tuki. Busy busy days, and in addition someone is turning TWO on Thursday..I wonder who it could be......

Anyway there are SHOUT OUTS in order for 4 families from the PAC O whose paperwork is out of IBESR, and 1 family (adopting 2 children) out of immigration, so 2 more children will be coming home SOON!! YEAH!!!!!!!!they do come, but after a long impatient wait....

Also on the Guatemala front, my good friend's paperwork is out of PGN. So their son will be coming home soon too!!! It has been a GREAT week!!

Oh, and BTW Tuki is in the middle of a language explosion. It started several weeks ago, and boy is it fun, at least most days anyway!!!

A Then and Now Moment

Thanksgiving 2006...still looking pretty shell-shocked with all the family around.


Thanksgiving 2007, just doing her own thing.

A Good Day

After a surprise visit by E this morning and an emotional tantrum filled morning by Tuki, we eventually made it over to my sister to celebrate Thanksgiving with the family. We also celebrate Cousin N's birthday on Thanksgiving since her birthday was on November 20th. It was an interesting morning and yet a fun filled afternoon.



Looking like a little lady, and probably yelling "Mama" for the 100th time. But I still love to hear it. LOL


A little R & R to to help her get her second wind.


Checking out Cousin N's haul for her birthday party. She turned 3 on the 20th.


Feeling like a big girl walking down the stairs without Mama's help.


Getting ready for the "hayless" hayride with cousins N, T & H.


Petting cousin N's new Great Pyrenees 4 month old puppy named Porter.


The evening sky tonight on the hayless ride


Mama and Tuki.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I was working in the kitchen and I turn around, and here she is with her stool and key trying to unlock the door.


Her favorite thing to do while something is cooking in the oven. I know the pizza is a little over done!!


Another visiting parent was kind enough to take a picture of the girls together. Notice Panda's dress.

What I am Thankful for:(not in any order)

1. Tuki
2. Tuki
3. Tuki
4. Pooches
5. cat
6. Neighbor A & friend E
7. Family - a step mom, sister, and 3 brothers, and all their families.
8. health
9. a faithful and forgiving God
10. home
11. two healthy daughters in Haiti
12. employment
13. energy
14. ability to learn
15. ability to pay my bills and feed my family
16. to have the desire to take on new challenges
17. to be able to see the positive in most every (not all) situations
18. that I am learning to be more flexible
19. Real good Friends
20. that Isaac is getting better
21. ability to travel and see new places

Hope everyone who is reading this has a Happy Thanksgiving and
for you Canadians and anyone else not celebrating Thanksgiving,
I hope you just have a happy day...everyday!!!!

CRAP!!! - I love this word

especially when things aren't going well. I actually like saying it better than writing it. I guess we all have our vices.....

Why does this word feel and sound so good today, well .......Ever since I committed to Cheetah on September 23, I was under the impression that a copy of my file was in First Legal for her. Well I found out today that there was a little miscommunication(?) and actually a copy wasn't in First Legal. So now I need to get the second dossier in Haiti ASAP, because Cheetah's file is now several months behind where I thought it was....AGGGGHHHHHH. I have been very quiet, a little down, and very frustrated ALL day because of this news. Cheetah's timetable may have her home maybe sometime spring 2009!!!!!!!!, yes you read that right.

Other than that, nothing new.

Beautiful Happy Girls

More photos taken from visiting parents. I love this about the PAC O. Everyone is so willing to take pictures for the waiting families. It really helps in the waiting!!

Isaac

From about 1 year ago. Isaac, Tuki and sMurph trashing the living room. (don't mind his eyes, just reflection, not evil. LOL)

Isaac in his younger years


This morning is our second day of Parent/Teacher Conferences, then I am off to getting my haircut, then chiropractor, then volunteer 2 hours at church packing the Operation Christmas Shoe boxes for shipment.

Yesterday, I took Isaac to the vet. After yet another day of diarrhea. I thought it was all good, but then Isaac started up again Wednesday night. They did a fecal exam, x-rays and then blood work. No parasites, can't rule out cancer for sure, but his blood work showed a positive for a type of disease(relatively newly discovered), not LYME (he receives a Lyme vax and frontline), passed through a tick. So after $300.00, he is on $60.00 worth of antibiotics and medication to help settle his raw large intestine. But the Doc said he can't really rule out cancer for sure. Dobies are known to acquire cancer, heart disease and kidney failure. Their AVERAGE life spans are 9.8 years old and Isaac will be 9 in March. I love that crazy, hyper-active, very intelligent, but no common sense, obsessive-compulsive, sweet, loveable gentle dog. I hate thinking of the day when I will lose him. He has such a presence in our lives, I can't imagine him not in it. He has been with us since he was 7 1/2 weeks old.

The only for sure things tomorrow are tumbling in the morning and volunteering two more hours unloading the shoe boxes at church.

Funk

Tonight, after Parent/Teacher Conferences, which went well by the way, I am tired, cold and feeling sad, while thinking yet again HOW VERY LONG it will be before the girls come home from Haiti. It looks like IBESR is taking over 5 months yet again.

The problem is, I have been thinking and imagining how it will be when they are home, and that is very dangerous because it is those type of thoughts that can put me into a real funk. The funk causes me to live for the future and not enjoy today.

Tuks deserves a Mom that enjoys and explores the today, with her. I will snap out of it, given a little time.

Doggy DODO-take2

Sunday am and all looks and smells good in the Doggy DODO department....YEAH!!

Doggy DODO Duty Day

My dogs are sick, or rather two of the three are sick. Isaac, my 100+, 3 feet tall dobie started crapping (sorry but it is the best way to describe this mess) liquid literally (figuratively speaking) all over the house (but not on any carpet) Thursday night WHILE Grey's was on. Can you believe the nerve of him. I cleaned it up and he was then confined to the basement. Same thing on Friday, but now just in my unfinished (thank goodness) basement. Then last night, mind you in the middle of the night dog number 2, Einstein, woke me up around 4:00 am, prancing all over. My quick solution was to confine him to the master bathroom, which has linoleum on the floor. I woke to another mess, and then proceeded down to the basement and found yet another Isaac mess. The thing is neither acted sick, just diarrhea. Heathcliff was never sick, but I didn't care. They all went on a fast for the day, and then tonight I fed them some boiled hamburger and rice. I'll see how they handle that, and then hopefully work them back onto their regular dogfood.

This morning, between tumbling, and napping, Tuks and I ran to Walmart to pick up some photos for Cheetah's photo album, Tuks napped, I did laundry, and did final winterizing yard work. When Tuks woke up, we had to go back to Walmart to shop for the Operation Christmas Child Shoebox, and groceries for the week. The place was packed, and Tuks wanted (crying, tantrums) the toys I was buying for the box. I, for the life of me DO NOT understand when people speak of Retail Therapy, because when I walk into a store in which there are that many people and I know I will be confined there awhile my heart rate literally goes up. I'm not kidding!! It races, I'm stressed, and I want to get done ASAP. I need therapy AFTER the shopping. No wonder I buy sweets, it's for a stress reliever (justification) after I arrive home. Therefore, you could correctly surmise I am cheating on my diet this weekend, and I don't care.

Then, to top the day off, Tuk's Bear Bear is MIA. I have no idea where it is, and Polar bear, and Baby bear are present, but for some reason just not good enough. So our questions in Tuki's words are "Bear, bear, Where are you??" "Where did he go?".

and lastly

"Come home we miss you!!!"

an then just like that,
the day is over
and I am left asking
"Where did the day go?"

and now I must say good night, because I am off to mop up the remaining DODO stains in the basement.

EDITED: I found Bear bear in a box upstairs!! Praise GOD, all is right in Tuki's world!!!!!!!




FYI -TO KEEPS THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE
Haiti vs. the United States
· Total population (July 2007 estimates)
· Haiti: 8.7 million
· U.S.: 301 million
· Infant mortality rate (number of infants who die before their first
birthdays)
· Haiti: 63.83 per 1,000 live births
· U.S.: 6.37 per 1,000 live births
· Life expectancy at birth
· Haiti: 57
· U.S.: 78
· Literacy rates (percentage of residents over age 15 who can read and write)
· Haiti: 52.9 percent
· U.S. 99 percent
· Gross Domestic Product per capita (2006 estimate)
· Haiti: $1,800
· U.S.: $43,800
· Source: The CIA World Factbook 2007 (www.cia.gov)

New pictures

Thanks to another visiting family who were kind enough to take the girl's picture together. THANKS.



Sisters Together





















Panda
























Cheetah

Flash Gordon

is Tuks new name. She doesn't walk anywhere anymore...it's all running to and fro. If I don't watch closely she is out of sight!! We are entering scary times. Wish me strength, and quickness of mind and feet.

Today

..marks two months in IBESR. Is that all..feels like more!!!!!!

..due to assembling activities, reminded me how much I dislike putting together dossiers, especially since this is my third in 2 years.

..it snowed. Didn't stay.

..I started a diet. I don't usually do diets, but I am trying this one because my sister lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks, and cheated a little. If I lose my last 10, I'll let you in on it.

..It is getting dark, earlier.. UGH!!!!

..was payday.

..the kids were real rowdy due to the pressure system.

Overall was a good start to the week.

Do you know him?

I saw this video today in church. Powerful!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cKAgGck0Ho

I then went searching for it on YOUTUBE. So after watching this for the second or third time, I turn to Tuks and ask "Do you know him?" She says "NO", and naturally she doesn't yet, since she is too young. But her honesty was cute.

But I have to ask why is Jesus depicted as Caucasian all the time when in fact he lived in the middle east?? Yet another idea to ponder.

Tumbling through thoughts

Well, it is easy to see I am done with the CC season..much more blogging action..LOL

Anyway today was Tuki's first day at tumbling at the YMCA. When we first entered the room, she was totally enthralled with another older gymnast who was performing on
the bars and vault. Tuks couldn't get her eyes off her. So when the instructors had us sit down, GOD FORBID, Tuks wanted nothing to do with stretching, and making a taco, or whatever the heck we were suppose to make in our stretching because she wanted to get up and jump on the vault, swing from the bars., etc., She and I were wrestling just to keep peace in the sit down stretch activity. My mind quickly professed that "I hope this 45 minutes flies by" BUT once we were free to jump, roll, tumble, hang, she had a blast. I think she will be enjoying this because all day she continued to tumble around the house. My hope with this is to get her hooked on the gymnastics while she is young and then continue it through at least or up to junior high. My reasoning is that girls that I have seen take gymnastics when they are young are usually very toned, aware of their bodies, and can easily transfer into any other sport if she chooses and still do well.

I also stumbled across this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rdpSELDxt8 about the celebration of the Day of the Dead in Guatemala. I loved watching it and strangely I started crying during the viewing because I realized that Tuks will never be able to experience this event in Guatemala, celebrating along side her birth and extended family. If Tuki's situation, or I should say the dire circumstances surrounding her birth mom didn't exist, quite possibly she would have celebrated this annual event, but now even when (because we will celebrate next year and every year after with smaller kites) I attempt it, it will be on a much smaller, low key scale. Not quite the same. I really empathised with her loss today. The loss of her Guatemalan life is so smoke screened over with her new life and she doesn't even know (at least not yet) she lost this part of her history. This was a light bulb moment for me. An uncomfortable one, yet one I had to see.

But, then I also, with research, realized that Haitians also celebrate the Day of the Dead. According to what I read, a little rowdy in celebration, but still a day to remember those that have passed.

Maybe I can come up with a tradition that incorporates both countries style of celebration, yet not lose the original flavor of the holiday. Any ideas??

Here is another question, or thought..is it just coincidental that Halloween is October 31, and the Day of the Dead is November 1, OR is there some correlation and just a different take on the celebration from different countries..

Any one in the know about this??? I'd sure like to be informed.

Slamming the Door on Adoption

Check out this article, I posted it below as well. I thought it handled the issue well.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/11/02/AR2007110201782.html

Slamming the Door on Adoption

Depriving Children Abroad of Loving Homes

By Elizabeth Bartholet
Sunday, November 4, 2007; Page B07

Last month, Guatemala was effectively shut down as a country from which children can be adopted into the United States. While the shutdown is officially temporary, it is likely that even when new laws are in place, Guatemala will follow the path taken by many South American countries in recent years: eliminating the private agencies and intermediaries that facilitate the placement of children who need homes and substituting government monopoly over adoption, which will reduce to a trickle the number of children escaping life in institutions or on the streets.

In recent years, Guatemala has been a model for those who believe in adoption as a vehicle for providing homeless children with permanent, nurturing parents. It has released significant numbers of children to international adoption, many at young ages, before they suffered the kind of damage that results in attachment disorders and other life-altering limitations. Ironically, these policies are why Guatemala attracted the attention of UNICEF and other human rights organizations that, along with our State Department, have been pushing for adoption "reform." These official "friends of children" have created pressure that has led to the cessation of international adoption in half the countries that in recent decades had been sending the largest number of homeless children abroad. Until recent years, the number of international adoptions into the United States had been steadily increasing, but the numbers are dramatically down.

Why close down international adoption? The real-world alternatives for the children at issue are life -- or death -- on the streets or in the types of institutions that a half-century of research has proved systematically destroy children's ability to grow up capable of functioning normally in society. By contrast, we know that adoption works incredibly well to provide children with nurturing homes and that it works best for those placed early in life.

Critics of international adoption argue that children have heritage rights and "belong" in their countries of birth. But children enjoy little in the way of heritage or other rights in institutions. The critics argue that we should develop foster-care alternatives for children in the countries they are from, and UNICEF's official position favors in-country foster care over out-of-country adoption. But foster care does not exist as a real option in most countries that allow children to be adopted abroad, and the generally dire economic circumstances in these nations make it extremely unlikely that comprehensive foster care programs will soon be developed. Nor is there any reason to think that children would do as well in foster care as in adoptive homes. Indeed, for decades the research in countries that use foster care, such as the United States, has shown that such care does not work nearly as well for children as adoption does.

Critics also condemn adoption abuses such as baby-buying. But there is no hard evidence that payments are systematically used in any country to induce birth parents to surrender their children. In any event, the right response to such abuses is stepped-up enforcement of the overlapping laws prohibiting such payments, which would rightly result in the lawbreakers being penalized. Closing down international adoption, however, wrongly penalizes all those homeless children who could otherwise find nurturing adoptive homes, condemning them to institutions or to the streets.

Policies restricting international adoption replicate the same-race matching policies that used to exist in the United States. In the mid-1990s, Congress passed the Multiethnic Placement Act, rejecting the notion that children should be seen as belonging only within the racial group into which they were born. Our lawmakers recognized the harm children suffered by virtue of being held in foster care rather than being adopted transracially.

Congress, the State Department and the human rights organizations that purport to care for children should similarly reject the notion that children in other countries must at all costs be kept in their communities of birth. Children's most fundamental human rights include the right to be nurtured in their formative years by permanent parents in real families.

Elizabeth Bartholetis a law professor and faculty director of the Child Advocacy Program atHarvard Law School. She is the author of the books "Family Bonds" and "Nobody's Children."

CC Banquet

Last night at our CC Awards Banquet. Tuks was dressed in the fitted t-shirt that the girls purchased, but I bought one in medium and converted it into a dress. I edited the pictures to remove people or identifying names. Tuki had her good and bad moments last night. One funny one was when we went through the food line and Tuki was following me with an empty plate, but then somehow on the way back to our table she became lost from me, and seconds later when I spotted her, she was in the middle of a bunch of people with her hands in the air, saying "mama, where did she go" with a puzzling look on her face. Another time, after talking too loud while another coach was presenting, I quickly took her around the corner and told her she was too loud, her response was to promptly walk herself up to the wall and put herself in "time out".

She sure has me doubling over many times with her antics!!
Life is a good thing with the Tuks around!!!!