Ve's first report card

It is the end of 2nd quarter/1st semester and I received Ve's report card today.
The main teacher had this to say about her:

"Ve is a delightful kindergartner who appears happy at school and making friends. She is making very nice progress adjusting to school, routine, and language."

She is also doing well in Art, great with jump roping in gym, in fact her gym teacher stated that she exceeds the typical kindergartner in gym class with the jump roping, but unfortunately she also is not willing to participate unless heavily encouraged in other activities. She needs to work on this, of course...

Her music teacher stated that Ve resists doing anything in her class. In the beginning she would roll around on the ground or run around when asked to be involved. (I will insert here, that Ve also use to do that to me at home at first. But I let her know that the rolling around on the ground was not allowed, and she responded accordingly.) Her music teacher also stated that this week Ve did listen well and had stopped all the avoidance behavior, so there is progress after only 4 weeks in school.

FFF-UP

side down, Tuks favorite place!!!

More VerbalVe and TukiLogic

To add to the previous days conversations... at supper tonight Ve was pointing out how Tuks was my baby. I initially thought she was just reiterating that Tuks was the baby of our family and I was the Mama, but then she kept stating that Tuks was my baby and then pointing at me. I just kept stating over an over that yes, Tuks was the baby of the family, Ve was the middle child, etc.,etc.,

So my interpretation of her meaning?!; Well I think Ve believes that I gave birth to Tuks...yet another little misunderstanding in our whole family dynamics...I find it all EXTREMELY interesting, and I am looking forward to finally being able to explain to all the girls that they all came to our family through adoption, and really having them understand what adoption means ....the future looks bright, fun and maybe a little rocky for awhile. LOL

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Every night I read many books, too many to count, to the girls, but I try to read at least 20 minutes worth so that we can record the 20 minute a day required for Ve in kindergarten. Well the girls like to point out whom in the story resembles themselves. Tuks will say and point "That is Tuks", then quickly Ve will point and say "No that is Ve', and on and on it goes until I get frustrated enough to say "enough". The arguing over who it is, gets so loud and competitive that I can hardly hear myself read, so I know they have also lost focused. I know it is good for the reader to identify with a character in books, but believe me when I say, it can get a little out of hand.

So tonight once I said "enough" Ve attempts to point out yet another character in a book in referencing it to herself, and again I said "enough", so immediately Tuks whispers and slightly points to another character and of course states "That is Tuks" ever so quietly....I literally had to turn my face away so that the girls didn't see me laugh at that move...it was cute, but it also showed me, yet again, that I will and do have my hands full with the little brainiac Tuks.

Ve was Tagged

by Medina; I am to list 10 things about myself to share with blog land. Since I am limited in my communication with my mama, I am letting her make some assumptions based on what she sees me do.

1. I LOVE Ice cream!!!

2. I hate brats, but Mama makes me eat them anyway, so they are growing on me.

3. I love school and the friends I am making there. I also like to learn at school.

4. Baby dolls and playing mama to them by feeding and dressing is one of my favorite things to do.

5. I like to braid hair.

6. I LOVE my cat Hubble and he is the first one I look for once I get home from school. I run up to him and give him hugs and kisses. He also makes me laugh real hard.

7. I love to go to Adventure Alley and gymnastic class at the YMCA.

8. I like to make others laugh. Once I find something that they laugh at, I keep doing it. Mama says I could be a stand-up comic.

9. Sometimes Tuks makes me mad, but I love having her as a kid sister.

10. I like living in the USA.

TukiLogic on Adoption and VerbalVe on sister Mim

TukiLogic

Tuks: Mama, can we bring Luca home (a boy at the y's adventure alley)

Me: No, we can't because Luca has a family and Mama.

Tuks: I want (she still thinks because she wants it will granted, silly kid) to bring Luca home

Me: Is that how you think Ve came home, I just decided she would come home with us.

Tuks: Yes

Me: well it didn't work that way, Ve was adopted just like you were adopted.

Tuks: OH


I guess I have more education to do as to what adoption means. We read her Life book so she hears her story, but she may not be old enough to totally understand what it all means yet, and I am not ready to explain (science behind it) the whole growing in another woman's (birth mom's) belly, since Tuks is still only 3 and hasn't even attempted to ask where babies come from.

VerbalVe:

While looking at pictures of Mim

Me: Mim is your sister just like Tuks is your sister.

Ve: No

Me: yes, she is, she will be your sister

Ve: looking at me with a blank look on her face...

I am not sure if she likes the idea of Mim coming home to our family, or just not buying the idea that Mim is/will be her sister since they weren't the whole time they were at the O together. Poor kids, this all must really mess up their thinking sometimes!!

Again guess I have my work cut out for me. WHEW!!!

43 days home

and already functioning as typical sisters. I think their relationship is the truly marvelous miracle in Ve's homecoming. Don't get me wrong, I love Ve's homecoming as well and I am loving being able to communicate more and more daily with her. As I mentioned before, it is like she has always been here, simply because we are functioning so flawlessly (Of course now that I said that, I may have jinxed us. LOL)


Before Tuks was even home, I knew I'd be adopting siblings for her, and especially at least one sister. I have a sister, and 3 brothers, and even though we do not always get along seamlessly on a daily basis, I am ever so grateful for them. So with Ve's homecoming, I of course was a little nervous as to how she and Tuks would function as sisters. I had read all the info I could find on adopting out of birth order, and believe there are many scare stories out there, and yet here I was doing just that, not only once, but twice.


The first few days of Ve being home, I could tell why all the warnings. Ve wanted to be "the baby", Tuks was the baby but she was acting like the "Mom, or big sister". etc., I would not be over exaggerating by saying that none of us knew exactly how to operate in our given roles, because it kind of became all muddled. But, then I started just saying to the girls that "Tuks is the baby of the family, not the big sister or mama, Mama is the Mama, and Ve was the bigger sister" Eventually I think we all started to receive the message and things have started to fall in to place.

In addition, the way they play together has transformed into playing side by side, to playing with each other in pretend shopping, mama's to their babies, dress up, kitchen etc.,



They, of course, have their moments of not understanding each other's behavior, not sharing, or both wanting the exact same thing at the same time, even though seconds ago neither wanted it. Ve is taking on the big sister role better, Tuks is taking on the baby sister role better, and I of course am still learning all about what the Mama role involves. But it does change daily, so sometimes I get confused. LOL

I also prep both girls that when Mim comes home, she is and will be the big sister.

system of capitalism??

‘Hold the applause’
Published Jan 23, 2009 11:18 PM
Following is a commentary from political prisoner Bomani Shakur, one of the Lucasville Five, now on death row in Ohio on false charges from a 1993 prison uprising. Shakur was convicted as Keith LaMar.

History could not have created a more poignant scene. In the midst of what may be the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression in a country known for its racial injustice, the United States elected its first Black president. Walking out amid a sea of screaming supporters—the majority of them African-American—Barack Obama (cool, calm and collected) stepped up to the podium and announced, “Change has come to America!”

Given the past eight years of the Bush administration with its long train of abuses and human rights violations, it’s virtually impossible to argue against the notion that by the mere act of electing a new president, America has entered into a new era of transformation.

Some have even gone as far as to call it a “post-racial” era and claim that we have finally arrived at the much ballyhooed “promised land” that the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. spoke about before his untimely death in 1968.

Indeed, the spirit of Dr. King has loomed large over Obama’s meteoric rise to political prominence, and one would have to be blind not to see the similarities. However, in focusing on these similarities, it’s important to note that the comparisons are being made with the minister who gave the famous “I Have a Dream” speech.

It was in this speech that Dr. King evoked images of a color-blind society. But what many people don’t know is that, by the time he was assassinated (and many would argue, the reason why he was assassinated), Dr. King had undergone a transformation in his thinking and had begun to shed many of his illusions about race in America.

More than the color of skin, he began to comprehend that it was the system of capitalism itself, which uses race as a weapon to shield and conceal a very unjust economic arrangement, that was the true culprit of inequality in America. After all the marching and sitting-in had produced the much-demanded “Civil Rights Act of 1964” and the “National Voting Rights Act of 1965,” he found that for the poorest citizens things were pretty much the same and that those in power intended them to remain so.

In what turned out to be a fateful decision, Dr. King decided to travel to Memphis, Tenn., in order to lend his voice to poor sanitation workers who were agitating for higher wages and safer working conditions. It was here among poor, working-class citizens that he exhibited the pivotal shift to asking, “What does it profit a man to be able to eat at an integrated counter if he doesn’t earn enough to buy a hamburger and a cup of coffee?” He issued a challenge to those who gathered to hear him speak:

“Don’t go back on the job until the demands are met [cheers]. Never forget that freedom must be demanded by the oppressed. Freedom is not some lavish dish that the power structure will voluntarily hand out on a silver platter while [we] merely furnish the appetite [applause]. If we are going to get equality, if we are going to get adequate wages, we are going to have to struggle for it.” (Michael K. Honey, “Going Down Jericho Road: The Memphis Strike, Martin Luther King’s Last Campaign,” pp. 302-303)

These words, spoken over 40 years ago, are just as relevant today as in 1968. If we are going to build a better world for our children, if we are going to stop those in power from taking our homes, our jobs and our freedom, we are going to have to struggle for it. Achieving real change is going to require that the whole system of corporate capitalism be completely dismantled, and the only way to do this is by coming together and speaking truth to power.

How fitting is it, then, that Martin Luther King Day falls on the eve of Barack Obama’s inauguration. Before we witness the first Black man to become the 44th president of the U.S., we should reflect on what would have been on Dr. King’s mind during this momentous occasion.

Although he fought long and hard for Black people to be treated equally, I doubt that he would be in a celebrating mood. He would be proud, yes, but foremost on his mind would be the 9,000 people a day who are losing their homes; the 2.2 million who have lost their jobs; the over 2 million who are behind bars; the hundreds who are still being unlawfully detained at Guantánamo Bay; the thousands who are fighting in unjust wars; and the billions of poor people around the world who are living on less than $3 a day while giant corporations pay out multimillion dollar bonuses to their senior executives. Pondering these things, he would know that we have not yet arrived and he would implore us to, please, hold the applause.


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Articles copyright 1995-2009 Workers World. Verbatim copying and distribution of this entire article is permitted in any medium without royalty provided this notice is preserved.

"I Love you Tuks"

This was how the girls slept together weeks ago.



This is how they played slumber party tonight. Ve kept saying "I love you Tuks",
and Tuks would return it by saying "I love you too Ve" It was the first the girls have stated words of love to each other..


Close-ups


Another Close-up, and yes that is Hubble's hair on the blanket..one of the curses of having a white cat.

Where are my feelings at for Ve?. I like her a lot and liking her more every day. It seems like she has always been here. It is sort of a weird feeling. I don't believe she is in a honeymoon period; for fear that if she is naughty I will abandon her, for several reasons. One, she sees Tuks be good and naughty enough times, and then she sees that I still love and care for Tuks. Secondly, Ve has had some naughty moments and I have not abandoned her. So my guess is she is just adjusting EXTREMELY well.

My maternal love feelings for Ve aren't here yet, but each and every day I like her more and more, so I know that those maternal, love greater than all else, feelings will come, just like they came for Tuks with time and memories built from day to day living.

AM CALL

I received a call from Ve's kindergarten teacher this morning. She was just gushing as to how smart Ve is. After only 3 weeks, she is participating just like her fellow classmates. Apparently yesterday morning it was Ve's turn to do the "calendar". Not completely sure what it all entailed, but there were many steps. Ve was the leader of the class and walked through each step with the others following. According to her teacher, she was fantastic. I also received a call from her ESL teacher last night and she is working on encouraging the district to hire an interpreter for her and Mim to help them along with their classes while in school. It is not a done deal yet, but looks promising. Lastly, both the regular education teacher and the ESL teacher stated more than once how VERY SMART Ve is, and they are excited to see how she does once the language barrier has been overcome, because already with little English she is remarkable. What great news to hear. The best part Ve LOVES school. She is always happy, jumping and talking nonstop at the end of the day. It warms my heart for her to be doing so well.

01.20.09 A day to remember

Today in each of my classes we discussed and watched the inauguration of President Obama.


I first told them that in '63, the year I was born, John F Kennedy was assassinated a few months after my birth. I told my students that it was an unusual time for one to grow up in since I was smack dab in the middle of the Civil Rights movement, that was fueled by the belief all people should be treated the same.


I then shared with them how a few years later, Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated for peacefully fighting to correct the wrongs that existed in our nation. He had a dream that ALL people, no matter their race, would be treated equally.


I then shared, how in the short 45 years that I have been alive we have come from Kennedy, King to now Obama. Today was a wonderful and memorable day for me and my children and students.

I then asked them how today was important to them.

The students who actually thought about it, and there were quite a few, said: it meant change for more jobs, more financial security, no war, more ecological friendly energy, and hope for the future.

NOT one mentioned it was an important day because of an African American man becoming President of the USA. They saw the man, they saw the hope, they saw his ideals.




I would say the next generation is miles and miles ahead of us when it comes to ALL people being treated fairly. His race was NOT an issue to them, only his ideals...I was humbled by their response and look forward to how the next generation will rock this nation.

COC - President's Letter and Boundaries

Ve's Certificate of Citizenship arrived today. A letter accompanies this certificate. Ve's and Tuks were signed by (a copy of) President Bush. Cool, each has a letter by the President welcoming them to the USA.

BUT,.....Then I sat and thought about it and realized Mim will have one signed by President Obama, the first African American President in the history of the USA...WOW, how cool is that for her. I think COC's are special anyway, but to have one signed by a President that made history is very special indeed.


I had to remove Ve from gymnastics class this morning. Her teacher was a young college man. This particular fella had no control of his four kids. There is a total of 14 kids and 3 teachers. Each teacher takes a group of kids. Ve's teacher had the smallest group, and I think the oldest kids. Ve was without a doubt purposely testing him to see if he would make her listen to what he had wanted the girls to do. Last week and then again this week I reminded the teacher that even though she has little English words, she understands A LOT, and please make her mind your instructions, because she is a kid after all, and she will test and get away with as much as possible. Well, my requests went on deaf ears and Ve had a hey day with it.

She didn't listen well the entire time (along with the other 3), but I let it go hoping she and the teacher would get their act together. But, about 15 minutes left in the class, when I actually saw her running away from him when he half attempted to get her to follow along, I stepped in (hate to do this) and pulled her out. She was so unhappy with me, she attempted to bite me, but I said no, took her outside the classroom, dressed her and then we waited for Tuks to finish. Tuks has been doing great with listening and following along in the class for the last 2 weeks and boy did I praise her up in front of Ve. Believe me, Ve knew she messed up, but we will try again next week!! The little stinker!!!!

I am quickly realizing that she needs teachers/coaches with tight reins for management or otherwise, she will do whatever she wants to. Something that I work on at home, and something that she will need reinforced at school/gymnastics class. I feel until our communication is better, this management will have to come from external boundaries until I can start talking with her about her own internal boundaries of right and wrong behavior.

FFF-Eyes

I think this photo, though a little blurry, captures the beauty of Ve's eyes.


My absolute favorite photo I took of Tuks when she around 7 months old.

Candyland

The girls got a Candyland game for Christmas. We play it about every 2 - 3 days or so. It requires much patience from me in teaching the rules, but it is paying off. I LOVE this game!! It teaches colors, counting, taking turns, and waiting patiently between turns. Ve has learned so much about colors and now counting. Tuks loves it because it reinforces what she knows. If you currently don't have the game and you are bringing home older children, I would definitely recommend getting it. They are learning and having fun all in one. Who could ask for anything better!!

Oh yeah, school has been called off tomorrow as well for the low wind chill. Back one day and then off for four more days. I am not happy about this because we will have to make up the days come June when the weather is real nice outside.....Oh well I guess that is what I get for living in Freezeville!!!!

Together

Life is going well in Freezeville. Today was my first full day back at work. I returned about 9 days early simply because Ve has been doing so well, and now school is called off for tomorrow because of the predicted low windchill. So another day home except for a meeting in the afternoon.

Work went well, except for a few snotty receptions from my 8th graders. My seventh graders were excited I was back, but typical of 13- 14 year olds (8th graders), there were a few naughty ones in the bunch. Even though you don't want to let it bother you because you know it is all normal teenage stuff, sometimes you just can't help but let it get to you deep down in your soul. OH well....thus the life of a Junior High Teacher.

Ve and Tuks are amazing together...just amazing. They are connected little sisters for not being able to communicate real well and having only been together a little over 4 weeks. I really feel it is a miracle, truly a miracle. It blesses my heart so much to see both so very happy with each other and with our family. We are just enjoying our peaceful life until we are put into a tailspin once again with Mim's arrival....

Outdoor fun

Today was the third time we went sledding in as many weeks. The girls are loving the outdoor fun, but still getting use to having snow in the face and neck. Thanks to W & Z for the invite!!

Ve said her first sentence today....



OK, ready?



Ve: "Mama Tooted" "HA HA HA HA HA HA etc.,"



Oh come on, it is funny!!!!!
and I do need to record her firsts as they come. She has a noun and verb contained in that little sentence!!! LOL I know, I have no pride!!!! Kids will do that to you!!!

4 week update

I had a friend email me these questions. I have responded back, but I thought I would also post my expanded answers as a post for Ve's 4 week update.

1. Have you given Ve an American name? Do you call her by it? Does she respond to it? How did you explain the new name to her (if you gave her one)?

I actually did give Ve an American name. I also plan to do this with Mim as well. I did the same thing that I had done with Tuks. The moment she came home I started calling her *****Ve. Eventually I dropped Ve and now we just call her *****. Also, just like Tuks, when I do her re-adoption in my state I will add my two American names (the first, and one middle name) to her birth name. She will have four names JUST like Tuks, and I will do the same for Mim. So all is fair. I have not explained this to Ve yet, but I will when our communication as at the level I think she will understand. We have already started to to refer to Mim as ***** Mim. Even Ve does this so that when Mim is home all members of the household will hopefully be in the same place.

Ve started responding to her American name by the second day. I hold the belief that because there is a language gap, the girls just believe that the American name I call them is their name in America. Does that make sense?? I also keep their birth names in their legal names so that if in the future they really feel strongly about being called their birth name, it will be no big deal because it is their legal name anyway.

2. How's the food situation? Does she seem worried there won't be enough? Does she eat and eat and eat or is she a picky eater? If she's picky how do you get her to eat?

After observing Ve for about a week or so I came to realize that Ve isn't gorging or feeling a sense of security from her food. She is actually a very picky eater. I had seen this in Haiti on my visit trips, but I wanted to wait until she was home to make any judgements about her eating style. Ve would decline what I had given her and then ask for either pb and jelly sandwich or cereal. Since I do NOT allow Tuks to do this, I quickly realized that I needed to make some adjustments. All it took was one time that I wouldn't let her leave the table until all that I had served was eaten. Now it isn't an issue because she knows that I am serious about her eating what I place in front of her. She eats everything now and I will gladly give her more if she wants it. I offer either a piece of candy or some type of dessert if the plates are clean. If not, then no treats of any kind. This applies to Tuks as well. I will probably have to do this with Mim too since I noticed she was also a bit picky of her food. I do allow the girls to eat every few hours and I have it set up at school for them to eat every few hours as well.

3. How's the communication going? Is she picking up English quickly?

Extremely well. Her receptive language is amazing. Her expressive language is changing daily. We are able to communicate more deeply every day. I think once she knows her English well, I will have two "Chatty Cathys" in the house. Ve talks non-stop when she gets home from school. I just wish I knew what she was saying.

4. How is bedtime? Does she go to bed easily? Sleep through the night? Bedwetting?

Ve goes to bed real easy, especially since starting school. She is a happy, but tired girl by the end of the day. She sleeps through the night, and yes, I have temporally placed her in pull-ups while she adjusts. My hope is once I can communicate this to her, explain that she can get up in the middle of the night, use the bathroom and then go back to sleep, I can take the pull-ups off. Right now, I'm not sure I could explain that to her well enough, so we use pull-ups and Ve hasn't resisted. I think since she sees Tuks in underwear by day and diapers by night, she is OK with it too. I hope that once Mim arrives, she doesn't make fun of Ve and shame her out of the pull-ups too early. I saw Mim do this to her in Haiti the one night Ve wet the bed. I attempted to put diapers on her the next night (this was highly recommend by other amoms), but Mim teased Ve and called her a baby so Ve refused to let me place them on her. Interestingly, she did not have an accident again while I was there.

5. Does any one thing in particular seem to overwhelm her? I know all kids are different I'm just trying to get a feel for what/how to prepare.

I haven't found anything as of yet, but of course, I keep an eye on this.

6. How is discipline working? I worry about this due to the language barrier. How do I explain time out to a child that doesn't speak English?

Quite frankly I didn't know how exactly I was going to handle this simply because I of course had never brought home an older child before. But, once Ve was home, I knew where I was at on this. My teaching philosophy and parenting philosophy is nearly the same. I want my children/students to know what my expectations are for proper behavior within the confines of the family/classroom right from the start. The rules are communicated effectively, efficiently and consistently, and very soon my children/students know what is expected. It works miracles every time. I am not kidding. I wasn't lenient on Ve in this department at all in regards to how I expected her to act regarding the family; such as with her sister Tuks, the cats, the dogs, furniture, please and thank you etc., You name I try to cover it. She has already had 2 time-ins and they turn her naughty behavior around immediately.

So you may be asking, how is this affecting her bonding with me. None at all, she curls up with me every night like a little baby, gives me hugs, kisses etc., calls me Mommy, Ma, mama...just like Tuks. I see the same with my students (no they don't curl up with me like babies, but you know what I mean). I think in
the long run, when children know the expectations, and you are fair with them among all involved, they feel more secure in the setting. Whatever the setting may be. Just my opinion, and I have seen it work time and time again. I think Ve coming home has made me a better parent for Tuks also, because of all my soul searching the last few weeks I realized that I need to step it up at home and parent like I teach. I had posted at an earlier date, that I was much more lax at home, and I really think Tuks responded to that and sometimes in not such a positive way. Tuks is behaving better lately as well because of my changed strategies. We are all happier!!!

7. Do you know how difficult changing her legal age will be? Does it vary by state?.

When I re-do her adoption for my state I will submit the doctor and dentist letters stating their opinions on her age. I believe that should do the trick. But, for sure I will let you know in six months.

8. Has she started school yet? I would love to hear how that goes when she does start.

Ve started kindergarten on Monday. I thought initially I'd start her out on half days, but she didn't need that easy transition. She jumped in with both feet and LOVES, LOVES, LOVES it. She has already earned herself a happy, "she is following the routine great" award. Her expressive language is exploding, her letter recognition, color recognition and counting ability has improved exponentially.
The teachers are saying the same thing that I have been thinking, and that is that Ve is smart!! She picks things up with remarkable speed. I am excited to see how she does by the time the school year is out. She receives at least one hour of ESL a day from the ESL teacher that has had 6 years of French. YAH!!! Right now, we don't believe she needs Speech and Language support, but we will keep an eye on her. I am also curious to see how she does once she starts writing and reading.

Now for another brag!!
Teachers are also coming to me with the "boy can that girl jump rope" I heard it from many teachers already, and if they are like other teachers/coaches, I know (namely me) they are probably salivating and waiting to see what sport she settles in because I think she will be talented, and so do others.

It will be fun to watch her over this next year. She has settled in real nice, even to the point where she is really starting to ask for things she wants and test me on how I will handle a situation. All very normal stuff!! I am loving this girl of mine!!!

Oh, yes, the best part of all, when Tuks and Ve see each other for the first time after school, they are just so excited, they can hardly keep from bursting with giggles and smiles at their first sight of each other..it is SOOOOO CUTE to watch!!

Tuks is also asking when Mim will be home, so I guess she is ready for her other sister, so I had better get ready too. LOL

Worth Reading-Just in Case

This article

High School Musical Miracle

HSM is like a modern day GREASE, but the main characters are average to very successful and gifted students rather than the Grease heads from GREASE. Plus the ethnic diversity of the main characters is great.

OK, They (I), LOVE these videos. They (We) dance around the living room singing the songs. I bought Ve a HSM back pack for school and as you can see I buckled and bought each a HSM t-shirt (on sale for 6.00 OF COURSE, I haven't succumbed completely to the propaganda of a fad). I believe it is helping Ve to learn and talk in English. She repeats so much of the words.

The girls love their shirts and were VERY happy to wear them today.

I will update more on how we are all doing later in the week.

Resale/Thrift Industry

http://www.thesmartmama.com/bg/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=199&Itemid=23
The CPSIA and the Resale/Thrift Industry
Friday, 02 January 2009



I have spent most of the last two days answering emails about the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA). The CPSIA has lots of different requirements - a ban for certain phthalates, a reduced limit for lead in paints and coatings, labeling requirements, and a lead content limit for children's products among some of the provisions. A lot of people are confused and upset.

And, I'm all for safety in consumer products. So it is difficult to be against a legislative effort that was at least touted as making children's products safe. And I'm not against the concept - just the poorly crafted provisions.

From the emails I have received, most people are concerned about the new lead content limit for children's products. Beginning February 10, 2009, all children's products must meet a lead content limit of 600 parts per million (ppm). For those products manufactured after 2/10/09, manufacturers and importers must issue general conformity certificates (GCCs). These GCCs must accompany the products and certify that the products meet the 600 ppm lead limit (and any other applicable provisions). (My plug - keep in mind that XRF analysis can satisfy this requirement for the time being. I offer it at reasonable rates - $5 per test or $100 per hour. Just email me at jennifer@thesmartmama.comThis e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it if you want more info).

But, more worrisome is that the CPSIA has been interpreted by the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) to apply to ALL children's products in commerce, regardless of manufacturer date. This means that the items can't be sold if they don't meet that limit. This is bad enough for retailers. They must now figure out if their inventory satisfies the requirements. How are they going to do this? Some retailers may be able to get information from their suppliers. Others are testing their inventory using XRF or other test methods.

But one industry seems in a very difficult position. How is the resale industry going to comply with this law? The law doesn't just apply to toys, but also clothing. The lead content limits apply to all products intended for children under the age of 12 subject to the CPSC's jurisdiction. That means clothing. That means crib sheets. That even means decorative accessories intended for children's rooms.

The eBayers are concerned. The children's resale industry is concerned. The thrift stores are concerned. If they can't sell children's products without determining whether the products are compliant, then what are they going to do? Some of them are going to close up shop - a loss of jobs and income. It is also disappointing from the green perspective. Re-using and recycling clothing is a good green thing. One thrift shop insider told me that she already has problems recycling clothing (for the fiber) because of the economic downturn - the city laid off the workers. But if her store can't sell children's products without determining lead content compliance, they will send a TON of additional products to the landfill. Filling up our landfills is a definite unintended consequence of the CPSIA.

I've been reading various blogs, forums and discussion groups to see how the resale industry is going to handle the law. And I am absolutely FLOORED by how much misinformation is floating around on the subject for the resale industry. Some of it is a result of a very unfortunate story out of Florida - completely wrong in many respects but widely being circulated.

So, let's review some basics:

(1) This law is not just about toys. This law involves all products subject to any consumer product regulation, ban, standard, etc.

(2) The lead content ban does not just apply to toys. The lead content ban applies to ALL children's products. The term children's product is defined as any product under the CPSC's jurisdiction intended for children under the age of 12. As of February 10, 2009, all children's products must meet the lead content limit of 600 ppm lead. This cannot be averaged across the product - each part (except those that are inaccessible within the CPSC's definition) must meet the limit. This limit goes down to 300 ppm on August 12, 2009.

(3) The lead content limit is different from the limit on lead in paints and coatings. The limit on lead in paints and coatings applies to those products that are painted or coated. In addition, children's products must ALSO meet the lead content limit.

(4) Items manufactured after the lead content limit is effective must be accompanied by a general conformity certificate from the manufacturer - for domestically made products - or the importer - for foreign made products.

(5) The ban on certain phthalates applies to children's toys and child care articles - a smaller subset of children's products. Child care articles are those products intended for children under the age of 3 that facilitate sleeping and eating.

(6) The lead content ban is retroactive. The CPSC has declared that products that don't meet the 600 ppm standard are "banned hazardous substances" and cannot be distributed in commerce. So, the lead content standard applies to existing inventory - items on store shelves now. These items do NOT need general conformity certificates like items manufactured/imported. But they do need to be compliant.

(7) XRF technology can be used to issue the general conformity certificates up until 8/12/09. After that date, products must be tested by a 3rd party accredited laboratory. What satisfies this requirement has not yet been established - the CPSC is not scheduled to issue these regulations until May 16, 2009.

(8) The phthalate ban is NOT retroactive. It only applies to products manufactured after February 10, 2009. Products can be sold through - so existing inventory does NOT need to meet the standard.

(9) There is no exemption for resale. The CPSC has interpreted the legislation to mean that children's products that don't meet the 600 ppm lead limit effective 2/10/09 are "banned hazardous substances" under the Federal Hazardous Substances Act and cannot be distributed in commerce. By any person.

(10) The CPSC has proposed some exemptions from the lead content limit. These exemptions are based upon a provision for minimal hazards (paraphrasing). The exemption applies to untreated, undyed, uninked, etc. natural fibers, certain gemstones, certain precious metals, and certain other natural items such as untreated leather, fur, and coral. That's it. As of yet, there isn't an exemption proposed for the resale industry.

(11) The textile exemption in the durable nursery goods provision DOES NOT exempt textiles from the lead content limits. They are two separate provisions of the law.

(12) The exemptions from flammability testing for certain fibers DO NOT exempt those same fibers from the lead content limits if used in children's products.

The resale industry must figure out how to determine if existing inventory is compliant come 2/10/09. The resale industry doesn't have the option of contacting suppliers to determine compliance. Testing with XRF may be an option - I and others offer the services or you can rent or lease one. At least one company is sending XRF analyzers (less powerful than the one I have) from Texas at a cost of $400 per day.

I can tell you I have found lots of items that don't meet the limits. In general, vinyl or polyvinyl chloride plastic usually has lead to stabilize it, so I find elevated levels of lead in everything from fake leather coats and purses to raingear to diaper changing pads - anything that is vinyl. I also find lead in fake pearls - the inexpensive ones. Also fake shell or pearl buttons on clothing. Pot metal jewelry and charms are usually lead. Some crystals attached to clothing.

I do think we will see some changes and fixes to the CPSIA over the next couple of months. But the CPSC has indicated it is limited with respect to the lead content ban because of the legislative language.

On a lighter note

A conversation between Tuks and Ve in the back seat while driving to get my tires changed.

Tuks: Mama, see the squirrel!!

Me: Yes, Look at that squirrel..COOL!!

Tuks: Ve, see the squirrel?

Ve: Wi

Tuks: Can you say squirrel? S Q U I R R E L (said nice and slow and pronounced well)

Ve: Squirrel!

Tuks: There you go Ve, good job!!

As you may have surmised, we are constantly feeding Ve new English words, thus Tuki helping out as well.

Parenting ain't easy!!!

Parenting is hard and difficult, and the older the child is/becomes, the more difficult it is. I know I am preaching to the choir in blogland, but I have been pondering this thought of late as to why it is so hard. So this post is written for me so that I won't ever forget it. So are you ready for a story and another analogy of sorts..

First let me tell you a little story. It involves my first year teaching and my new puppy Isaac, whom had passed away last February. One of the reasons I felt/feel so bad about Isaac's death is that I had always felt like I had let him down due to the various circumstances I had found myself in when he was a puppy and was in need and want of my guidance and training.

The year I had brought Isaac home at 7 1/2 weeks was also the same year that I had been hired at my first teaching job in a smaller school district about 30 miles from my home. I was hired to work with At-Risk students. At-risk students are considered At-risk of not graduating or being successful students for a great variety of reasons. I LOVE working with these students, still do today, but they are physically and emotionally draining. You can take one step forward, but then 3 steps backward, simply due to the fact that they tend not to be use to success so they set out to sabotage their own accomplishments. Like I said, from a teacher's viewpoint, exciting to help them succeed, yet frustrating in seeing them "shoot themselves in the foot" time and again because that just may be the example they see from home on a daily basis.

So to continue, I worked hard with these kids, loved them, taught them, parented them, and at the end of the day I came home exhausted, with NOTHING left to guide Isaac through his puppy hood. He needed it badly too. He was a doberman pincher, which are VERY intelligent dogs, and he was, he was also a very hyper dog and lastly I think he knew I was too tired so he was a teenager dog making up his own rules. He grew up to be a very wonderful dog, still smart, still hyper, but also the sweetest ox on earth. He wouldn't hurt a soul, but I never could, even after several obedience classes and agility classes train him into a more responsive dog to my requests. He improved a great deal, but not like if I had been more aggressive about it in the beginning. It was always a battle. The classes came too late in his life, like about when he was about 3 - 6 (21 - 42 in dog years) years old. His personality was formed, and he liked being a free spirit. Who could blame him, I do too. I was a passive dog trainer, hoping he'd get it by osmosis.

So how is this like parenting, especially children when they are older. Well a person can't passively train up a child. (babies really don't require this training until at least about 12 months old, at least in my experience, which I admit consists of only ONE baby. LOL) You need to be involved and involved in guidance on a minute by minute at first, and then daily as they grew older and on their own and know the expectations of your family, of society, of the human population as a whole. It doesn't matter how many times something has been shown, stated, it doesn't matter how tired, mad, scared, sick you are. You(me) are the parent that is there to guide your (my) children into becoming successful and responsible adults. It comes with hard work. You don't stop guiding and modeling behaviors until you see that they have arrived...if that really ever happens.

And I am currently learning that it is double when there is more children in the home, OF COURSE!!!

So I say, once again, parenting is hard work!!

Now here is the analogy, for me anyway...It's like training Isaac, only doing it with purpose and hopefully with WAY BETTER strategies on my part!!!

Ever have one of those days??

Tuks had a VERY bad day today.

Maybe overly tired, but I'm not sure why that would be the case since we didn't have any late nights this week.

She wanted so much of my time, yet neighbor A (an elderly man, who was an only child, who lost his wife 13 years ago to cancer, and they never had children, see the picture) came down to help fix a table and he wanted my time (see my dilemma). I felt drained of all that was within me. Ve seemed to be fine in the whole chaotic mess, but as always, hungry, so I fed her.

I feel like a very bad mommy tonight because not only did I not meet Tuks needs, but I also handled her tantrums with not as much patience as I'd have liked.

I hope I don't permanently damage her while she transitions to her sisters. One day she is all sunshine, the next all darkness.

She is also only 1 month into being 3, will I survive the next 11 months???

HUGE SIGH...........................I am going to go an have me a good cry and then talk to half asleep Tuks and tell I love her and that tomorrow will be a new day.

FFF for 2009-Sisters together at Last

Sisters!!. I just washed Ve's hair so it is not done in a style yet, BUT I must also admit I do like the natural look. I'm sure you realize that already. LOL. Ve seems to like it au natural for a few fays as well.

Happy New Year----2009

Already some exciting news:

Please wish Congratulations to the following families for advancement in their adoption processes:

Sarah's family

L's family

Small town girl's family

Blessed's life family

Places you will go family

If I missed someone, please let me know.

and Mim is currently waiting for passports to be printed, and the O director made a prediction that she will be home late January/early February. According to Ve's process I am going to be a little more conservative and predict March/April for Mim's homecoming...


So it is starting out to be a busy year and it is only the first day, hopefully since 2009 is coming in strong, it will quiet down later in the year!!!