Parenting ain't easy!!!

Parenting is hard and difficult, and the older the child is/becomes, the more difficult it is. I know I am preaching to the choir in blogland, but I have been pondering this thought of late as to why it is so hard. So this post is written for me so that I won't ever forget it. So are you ready for a story and another analogy of sorts..

First let me tell you a little story. It involves my first year teaching and my new puppy Isaac, whom had passed away last February. One of the reasons I felt/feel so bad about Isaac's death is that I had always felt like I had let him down due to the various circumstances I had found myself in when he was a puppy and was in need and want of my guidance and training.

The year I had brought Isaac home at 7 1/2 weeks was also the same year that I had been hired at my first teaching job in a smaller school district about 30 miles from my home. I was hired to work with At-Risk students. At-risk students are considered At-risk of not graduating or being successful students for a great variety of reasons. I LOVE working with these students, still do today, but they are physically and emotionally draining. You can take one step forward, but then 3 steps backward, simply due to the fact that they tend not to be use to success so they set out to sabotage their own accomplishments. Like I said, from a teacher's viewpoint, exciting to help them succeed, yet frustrating in seeing them "shoot themselves in the foot" time and again because that just may be the example they see from home on a daily basis.

So to continue, I worked hard with these kids, loved them, taught them, parented them, and at the end of the day I came home exhausted, with NOTHING left to guide Isaac through his puppy hood. He needed it badly too. He was a doberman pincher, which are VERY intelligent dogs, and he was, he was also a very hyper dog and lastly I think he knew I was too tired so he was a teenager dog making up his own rules. He grew up to be a very wonderful dog, still smart, still hyper, but also the sweetest ox on earth. He wouldn't hurt a soul, but I never could, even after several obedience classes and agility classes train him into a more responsive dog to my requests. He improved a great deal, but not like if I had been more aggressive about it in the beginning. It was always a battle. The classes came too late in his life, like about when he was about 3 - 6 (21 - 42 in dog years) years old. His personality was formed, and he liked being a free spirit. Who could blame him, I do too. I was a passive dog trainer, hoping he'd get it by osmosis.

So how is this like parenting, especially children when they are older. Well a person can't passively train up a child. (babies really don't require this training until at least about 12 months old, at least in my experience, which I admit consists of only ONE baby. LOL) You need to be involved and involved in guidance on a minute by minute at first, and then daily as they grew older and on their own and know the expectations of your family, of society, of the human population as a whole. It doesn't matter how many times something has been shown, stated, it doesn't matter how tired, mad, scared, sick you are. You(me) are the parent that is there to guide your (my) children into becoming successful and responsible adults. It comes with hard work. You don't stop guiding and modeling behaviors until you see that they have arrived...if that really ever happens.

And I am currently learning that it is double when there is more children in the home, OF COURSE!!!

So I say, once again, parenting is hard work!!

Now here is the analogy, for me anyway...It's like training Isaac, only doing it with purpose and hopefully with WAY BETTER strategies on my part!!!