Resting Lion

I am content and rested as a lounging lion after a hearty meal because......

I finally decided to make a leap of faith and attempt to call Haiti to find out the progress of my girl's cases and to discuss some other information.

After 3 attempts this is the news that I have received:

Cheetah is in IBESR....since February 20!!!! Her number is 16395, and I will post it on my side bar. Can you believe that, 5 weeks already. I am beginning to realize that no news is not necessarily no movement, just no news relayed.. Hearing that Cheetah is in IBESR is a big relief for me since it will be a year this June that she has been at the creche, and it will easily be around another year before she comes home.

Not sure of all the nuts and bolts of Haiti adoptions, so if you are confused, join the club!!!

Marie wasn't sure if Panda was out of Parquet..she said she had to check with someone to find out for sure.

BTW, we are home today, and I will explain later.......

Just Because

BTW - my last post about the girls were hoping I'd hear something..I still have not heard the news that I am waiting for, but thanks for the well wishes anyway.

I am going to attempt to stay away from blogging for a bit, or at least until either I hear some news, or I have something interesting to say. I feel lacking in that area. I like talking about Tuks, but I also like to discuss heavier topics as well, and nothing is coming to me, at least nothing that I want to post.

So you may see little action on this blog for awhile...........or maybe not, news could be forth coming at any time.

Waiting - why it feels so bad

Why this adoption waiting feels so bad!!!
(saw this on another forum)

1. Unoccupied time feels longer than occupied time
2. Pre-process waits feel longer than in-process waits
3. Anxiety makes waits feel longer
4. Uncertain waits feel longer than known finite waits
5. Unexplained waits feel longer than explained waits
6. Unfair waits feel longer than equitable waits

So those are all working against us. Here's why they can get away with it and how we stay sane:
7. The more valuable the service, the longer the customer will wait
8. Solo waits feel longer than group waits

Maybe, Hopefully, Wishfully, .........

Cheetah is IN IBESR.


Panda is OUT of Parquet.

Maybe, hopefully, wishfully, I will find out soon.................

Yellow Easter day

So this morning I dress Tuks for the day (except for socks), and then I place her on the floor from the changing table. I immediately go into my bedroom and change my clothes. I hear her doing something in her bedroom, and soon after she walks with two socks. They are both yellow, not a matching pair, but certainly close enough that I know she picked out her socks so that they matched in color. She sits down and I watch her for a while and then I ask "What color are your socks", and she says "Yellow"

Now to truly understand this achievement, I need to tell you that I am one of those people who do not fold socks, braziers (Ok maybe, TMI) and under ware. I just throw them in a drawer and find what I need as the need arises. I do the same for Tuks (well her socks anyway) and look how well she maneuvered in her sock drawer.

I call today my Yellow Easter day!!

And today, after several days of feeling achy, nauseous, and just plain worn out, I managed to spend quality time with family. They were able to see the "real" Tuks personality. They haven't seen her since mid-January and her talking skills have exploded since then and her "tude" is definitely entering into the 2 year/3years
old defiance. They were a little surprised as to her strong independence and expressing her need not to do something I had asked her to. Me, well I just say it is all part of the parenting game.

The Easter bunny was more than generous to her, and her cousin N.

Tomorrow begins the 11 week countdown until the end of the school year in which we slide into the summer lazy days!!!!!!!!!!

Tuki tags others

OOOpps I forgot to tag other kids,

so I tag;

Caralyn and her Mama Jane
Paloma and her Mama Sarah
Skylie and her Mama Kelly
Gage and her Mama Susanne

and Mama put cheap batteries (that were laying around in the fridge) in the camera for last weekend, and they lasted just about that long so until Mama buys more, there will will few to no pictures again...unless she digs up past photos of my cute self...

So on that note HAVE A HAPPY EASTER everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good Friday Meme

Photo of Tuks, S and her son G (also born in Guatemala) at the Fiesta.
I will be back later to add 10 things about Tuki. She was tagged by Ruby.

1. Whenever Mam says pee in the potty, I say "P, Q, R, S, T , now I know my ABC's etc., "

2. I can count to 10, but I don't like to say the number 4, but I didn't like the number 1 for a while either, but now I like to say it.

3. I use to call all colors "pink", but I now call most of them "yellow". Mama keeps trying to teach me the colors so that I know them better.

4. I love to run, jump, skip, hang my body by arms, and wrestle with Mama.

5. I love my neighbor A, I talk about him all the time.

6. Many different people call me "Miss. Congeniality"

7. I kiss sMurph, I mean Meow, I mean Kitty Kat every day.

8. I get really mad if Einie takes food away from me. I scream, yell and throw a fit for a good while. But i still like him hanging around me all the time.

9. I have been called a drama queen. Mama isn't sure if this is true, or just because I am a spirited little girl.

10. Whenever we are in the car, Mama and I play a game...It's called "......Where are you?". We change the names of the individual we are calling out. Sometimes it is the dogs and cat, bear, bear, Mama, me, neighbor A, etc., we just keep changing the names. Then we answer with "I don't know, where are they?"

Spring Break-ing away so soon

The potty training has taken a different turn than I had expected. Actually I didn't know what to expect, because all I really knew was this "Potty training in two days" method, and I quickly learned by the second day that it was just too intense and confining for both of us. She was telling me when she was wet and poopy after the fact, and we both wanted to get outside and do a little exploring with our somewhat nicer weather. So by Wednesday, I canned the idea and decided to wait until summer, but I still put her in pull-ups and she still tells me when she is dirty, so we sit on the potty and then change the diaper. The real improvement I am noticing is that she now hates being poopy or wet, so once she understands the sensation before she goes, we just may get there, just slower than I had originally thought.

We also have our resident chipmuck out and about again, the robins have been back for weeks and I heard sandhill cranes today on our walk. We have been taking daily walks with the dogs.

Tuks also started to yell at me "no way", or "owie" for a long period (5 - 10 minutes) of time before she finally falls to sleep. I think it is her protest to sleep, yet she finally konks out due to being so tired.


Here she is finishing washing the dishes, which by the way is a daily occurrence.


Pushing the step stool back to its correct place


Step stools correct place, next to the basketball hoop. She removed all the hoop netting several weeks ago, and I just haven't put it back yet. She uses this step stool like and elderly person uses a walker.


We bought these running shoes yesterday, and she won't take them off


She does more of this running and jumping. I think she thinks they are magical shoes.

Debt Reduction Update

Tax return received:

Debt Reduction Status;

1. Paid off one big bill-GONE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!

2. Nearly paid off 2 other big bills-Close (very) to being GONE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!

3. Emergency Fund set in place-Now don't touch it unless there is an emergency

4. Another payment for the adoption process made, and now only 1 payment left!!!!!!!

5. Starting to increase my savings account!!!!!!!!!!

All is Good, especially since Snowville is melting away.....................

Nice Surprise!!!!!!

A nice surprise was waiting for me last week Friday. I heard that Panda's file is in Parquet, but not only is her file in, but Marie, the O director expects it to come out within the next week or two. Now that is awesome news. I waited to say something because I had heard her file may be out this week and I wanted to post that, but it didn't happen.

Cheetah is sill not in IBESR.....hopefully also, something that will happen within the next week or two.

Personality Plus

I will post more pictures that were sent to me tomorrow. Thank you S!! I just had to post this one tonight. I think you will know why. This is why she would say "yes" any time I asked her if she had fun this weekend. I think this photo captures her personality, I just never seem to be able to capture it on film, but S did.....now imagine a deep belly laugh to go along with it............

Cleaning, Potty training and Brushing

So what are we doing the rest of the break.

Well I did what I did last year on the first day of the break;

written from last year's post

"I cleaned today, and I mean really cleaned. I had decided that I would bring Tuki to day care (she loves the other kids there) today so that I could shampoo the carpets without disturbance. Well that idea progressed into the idea of a real house cleaning for the homestudy visit this Friday. It was a good idea. I vacuumed, shampooed, swept, mopped and dusted, rearranged furniture on two levels of the house."

again, this year.

Now the house is clean, plus I brushed and clipped the nails of the dogs and cat,

and now today we are attempting to potty train. This is why I decided to stay put for the rest of the break........wish me luck.

Our Weekend in the City

On Friday, after work, and the van packed, I picked up Tuks from "Angie's school", what we call her daycare, and hit the road for a city 2 1/2 hours away. I had been prepping her all week that we were going to ..... and visit B, and going to a Fiesta party. She was excited. She traveled like a champ, a far side better than she did at 18 months. It's true it does get easier and easier every year.

I decided to make a Mama/daughter weekend of it so we checked into a hotel, ate out etc., the whole nine yards. Not a usual occurrence for me, but I felt this was our big splurge for the beginning of our Spring Break.

B came over Friday night, and then we met up Saturday morning and went to the Museum in which we viewed the; Body World, North American Animals, Rain forest and Butterfly Garden, and finally ate lunch. Then Saturday night we attended the LAAF Fiesta (the original purpose for the trip) for children adopted from Latin America.

Sunday we headed home, after a breakfast stop at IHOP halfway through the return trip. The only time she showed any annoyance in traveling was just before we arrived at our house. I think she was overly tired since I kept her up WAY past her bedtime on both nights on the trip.


After we checked in, she did a bit of this, and yes I let her jump on her bed at home too.


She also did a bit of this, I wonder where she gets the joy of running from. LOL


She also explored the camera quite a bit, and counted the extra batteries a few times over the weekend.


Now as for sleeping. All I can say is WOW. I initially thought I would be co-sleeping with her, but once I had her set up in the bed with pillow all around, and laid down with her, she was the fidget queen. So I asked her if she wanted me to sleep in the other bed, and she said "yes". So I moved, and she fell right to sleep in her own bed. She did this both nights, and her nap. I was impressed and I can safely assume that I could probably move her out of her crib and she will be just fine.
Here she is napping after the museum with her blanket and "bear bear". I always let her bring 1 blanket and her "bear bear" when we travel.


Butterfly Garden.


B & Tuks.

I told Tuks if she was afraid and she didn't want to see something, just tuck her head in and close her eyes. Needless to say, I held her like this in my arms for over an hour while in the Body World, but she did look at the display once she was comfortable.

I feel a person should understand their bodies instead of shy away from the whole thing. Granted Tuks is a little young right now, but as we all know the more exposure to something, and if the adult, parent reacts calmly, the child will too. The only thing she really didn't like to look at were the skeletons, but I think it reminded her of the scare of Halloween skeletons.


In the Butterfly Garden.


Looking at the North American Animal Display


Her reaction to photos most of the weekend. This is also why I don't have any great shots of her looking at the camera.


Dressed and ready for the Fiesta.


Dancing in the chair waiting for our dinner.


Once again dancing. I am amazed at our similarities. I also like to dance, and I would dance until I broke a sweat and this exactly what Tuks was doing. She'd get a really serious intense look on her face and just lose herself in the dance. Dancing mattered more to her than anything else going on.


The band played for 1 hour prior to dinner, and then again during the meal.


She danced the whole hour leading up to the meal, and then again she was dancing in her chair while waiting for the meal.

The Fiesta was really nice.We were able to meet new people and just relax, but also it was nice to see Tuks with hundreds of other kids sharing similar physical features. As she grows older I know she will notice it as well.

Two Mama & Me Moments during our weekend

At the butterfly garden at the public museum, Tuks was scared because a butterfly had just landed on me, so she was holding her head down. I guess I found some animal she is afraid of, better start working on that...


At the Fiesta dinner, visiting with new friends, while waiting for our dinner.

I will post more about our weekend later...........

Slaves

Sometimes I get so frustrated during this adoption process, but then an article like this comes out and I remember, at least partly, the other part is that my daughters are waiting too, this is why I must continue on.....

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=88102060

Hard to beleive that this is really going on, but it is!!!

100 things about me, actually 102 and counting.....

Many will sound un-believable, but they are true. As I have mentioned, according to most people I am considered weird, but I am quite comfortable in my skin, and I do hope to instill self-acceptance into my daughters as well…whoever they are inside and whatever they end up doing.
I realized after the list, I needed to stop but I could add so much more, as you could probably do for your life too. I want to challenge anyone reading this list to create a “100 things” list, if you have not done so already.

I feel I lived a great life prior to becoming a parent, which is why I am ok about putting some things on hold until they can join me in more adventures.

The list is in no special order.........

1. single, never married mom

2. grew up in family of 7

3. grew up in the country, initially on a beef farm and then we moved to a dairy farm

4. lived in 3 homes during my childhood

5. parents were married until my mother died, then my dad remarried.

6. hate shopping

7. I consider myself a loyal friend, sometimes too loyal, which can lead me to be taken for granted

8. both parents and sets of grandparents have passed away

9. I have been friends with w since 7th grade, and b for 20 years

10. I love the outdoors like I hear some women talk about their love for shopping

11. I have had acl, mcl and meniscus surgery on my left knee

12. I blew out my left knee by attempting to down hill ski (maybe 3rd time trying in my life) at the age of 40

13. I had emergency gall bladder surgery 1 month before I was covered by health insurance. The surgery cost me 10,000.00

14. I also had tmj surgery on my left jaw

15. I injured my left jaw when I was a child, and I was wearing my headgear while baling hay. I remember looking up and seeing that a bale was caught on the opening going into the hay barn one minute, and the next I was flat on my back looking at the heifers surrounding me and nosing me wondering what happened. My head gear was twisted grotesquely in my mouth, thus the jaw injury

16. in my 20’s I lived in a house with 20 other people while living in new york state

17. I summitted grand teton mountain in Wyoming 6 months after my knee surgery. It was the event that started to help me transition from feeling defeated to feeling empowered one again.

18. I was scared s@@@less the whole time I was climbing

19. on summit day I didn’t pee for 14 hours straight, and couldn’t go until we returned to base camp

20. two weeks later, another team attempted a summit on the same mountain, in the exact same location, and half the climbing died due to a lightening storm. I couldn’t help but know I survived for a reason

21. I have white water rafted in Alaska

22. I, only girl, traveled to Alaska for 16 days with 3 other guys

23. in these 16 days, I only showered twice, the guys only once…we stunk

24. we camped, hiked, and slept in a tent across the state. This was 6 weeks after my dad died

25. I saw the top of mt.mckinley, the tallest mountain in the united states

26. on average, there are only 19 days per year that people can see the top because it is usually clouded over

27. the first time I ever camped in a tent, was in my 20’s and I instantly fell in love with it

28. I once lived in a house with two-13’ ball python snakes housed just down the hall from me

29. I once had a moose bed down over night next to my tent. I could hear him breathing and sighing at various times in the evening.

30. I have traveled out of the US many times to; Guatemala, Uganda, Ghana, Ethiopia, Haiti, Mexico, and to lake superior for kayaking in Canada

31. I have worked with nearly all species of wildlife native to my home state

32. I founded a wildlife rehabilitation center in 1990 that cared for over 1000 patients and was manned by over 60 volunteers…that included me too

33. while running the wildlife center, in order to pay my bills and feed myself, I also worked at a nearby veterinary hospital. My volunteer hours plus the vet clinic work equaled more than 110 hours per week.

34. I was 26 years old when I started the wildlife center, I had the energy and idealism to do it

35. I couldn’t do it today at nearly 45, since I am not as energetic or idealistic

36. I started the center in my home, that functioned as the wildlife hospital, and that meant in the spring I usually had raccoons, various species of squirrels, bats, cottontails, mice, various species of birds, raptors, swans, turtles, snakes etc., etc., in the intensive care units in my home

37. the bedrooms were converted into the intensive care units

38. I had volunteers in my home 12+ hours each day for many years

39. eventually I moved out and the home was exclusively used for the wildlife

40. the most amazing times in the wildlife rehab field was when the patients were moved from intensive care (indoors) to the outside conditioning enclosures or when it was time for their release to freedom

41. it was in their eyes, as soon as they realized they were outside, or free, it was a like a light bulb turning on in their head, that shown brightly out through their eyes.

42. people called me eccentric and at the time I didn’t understand why. I was surrounded by eccentric people

43. I still migrate towards eccentric people, it is when I feel normal

44. I feel out of place around “traditionally” minded people

45. the education field is inundated with traditional people. Most are married before or just after they are out of college

46. I feel I have a children’s story in me just waiting to come out

47. working with wildlife has always been one of my greatest pleasures in life

48. sharing my passion about wildlife and the outdoors in my second greatest pleasure in life

49. I spent a summer in northern Minnesota and worked with gray wolves and white-tailed deer

50. there were other researchers working with black bear

51. the black bear hung around our cabins at various times all summer

52. I named several of them; one was sammy, a cub, one was bass that stood for big a@@, a huge female, and another was elmo, a big boar

53. I have a picture of elmo about 4 feet from my front door

54. sammy would climb on our cabin and bang on the roof all night

55. sammy became famous when lynn rogers wrote a book about black bears that included pictures of sammy and they even had her name in there, that is why I knew it was “my” sammy

56. the day I left MN, sammy was following me around my little chevette while I was packing it, and the only way I could keep her occupied was to keep throwing apples for her to eat

57. I love the color of green

58. the outside of my house is green

59. the carpet in my living room is green

60. two rooms have different shades of green on the walls

61. some of my furniture has green in it

62. I have tons of green plants in my house

63. apparently green is comforting, and makes people feel at home

64. that is the way I want people to feel when they visit my home

65. once upon a time I was in a relationship with one of the writers/musician of the song “da turdy point buck”

66. I have 2 major life changing regrets

67. one was in my mid-twenties; I was offered an opportunity to interview to work out in new england studying right whales. My then boss of a 6-week job doing telemetry work on ruffed grouse said I couldn’t go for the interview. I stupidly listened to him. I always wondered how my life would have turned out differently if I had gotten that job

68. the other life changing regret I don’t wish to share

69. I worked with bobcats in Mississippi

70. I love all animals except for fleas, but then now maybe not ticks either

71. I have worked many types of jobs in my life

72. graphic artist

73. bindery work

74. 3 days at window factory--I quit

75. 5 weeks as a waitress, the place closed down so I lost my job

76. obviously with wildlife in various forms and positions

77. with the dnr, us fish and wildlife service, several universities, non-profit rehabilitation centers

78. my idea of financial success is making ends meet monthly, saving money, with some extra to make several long trips each year, and save for retirement and the girl's education

79. my idea of life success is to live simply, kindly, meeting my family's needs and helping others when the chance arises

80. physically, spiritual and emotional wellness is important

81. I believe in Christ, and I mean that he really lived and died for my sins

82. it is a heart thing with me, not a head thing

83. it doesn’t mean I need to attend church weekly, but I attend because I want to

84. it doesn’t mean a lot of things that people make it to mean,

85. it means to me loving Christ, and knowing that he died for ME, yes ME. And because of that I am grateful

86. it also doesn’t mean quoting scripture at people, but rather trusting and believing in Christ to know that he will lead people into salvation and righteousness, not me, I’m human making tons of mistakes

87. once when I was traveling 8 hours to visit my then boyfriend, my truck spun out of control on a snow covered road, it came to a stop, I walked to a nearby farmhouse, and I called P who gave the farm owner directions to his house. The next day we returned to pull my truck out and discovered that my truck was within inches of a lightly frozen over lake before it stopped. I could have went in and no one would have been the wiser

88. I believe I am still alive for a reason, but again I don’t know why for sure

89. I believe in honesty, integrity, justice, loyalty, and kindness

90. though I believe in them, I have failed at them at various points in my life

91. I once owned 7 indoor cats, all lived to be around 13 – 14 years old

92. I was crazy about cats, not a crazy cat lady

93. I saw the play “CATS” on Broadway 3 times

94. I love the Nutcracker play

95. I possess a permit to keep non-releasable education raptors (birds of prey)

96. at one time I possesed 10 birds for education programs, now I only have 4, a great horned owl, red-tailed hawk, turkey vulture, and a golden eagle

97. they reside in large outdoors cages in my back yard

98. yes, the doors have locks on them, more for their protection than any one else’s

99. their food consists of rats, that I keep in one of my chest freezers in the basement

100.I usually don’t share this info with anyone simply because I really am private

101. before I became a teacher, I had started “Teachers on the Wing” and traveled around the state and gave over 100 programs each year about raptors. This is how I raised the money to build their big enclosures

102. I once was in the adjoining room to jane goodall, the chimp researcher. she was getting her thumb sutured up from where a chimp had bitten it off. I was getting my preventative rabies vaccine

One Year Blog

This post is my 283rd post and today marks 1 year since is I started this blog. I was planning to do a "100 things about me" post tonight in celebration since I didn't do it on the 100th post...but you know what, it takes a long time to come up with 100 things. So once I am finished I will post the list. Mandy...this is where I will place the Meme..6 weird things about me, because believe me there are more than six, and like I said I am not even done yet...........So Happy 1 year to Call of the Phoebe, and since we are still in process for our two darlings from Haiti, I am marching on into the 2nd year with my head held high and my fingers pressed firmly on the keyboard...........

Me and Tuks

Photo taken by my friend M..Thanks!!

Redo...............

Ok, to continue on with my earlier post…..I have been in a funk lately. The not getting any substantial news on my daughters in Haiti, tons of snow left on the ground, not totally settled as to what school I will be teaching in next year, will Panda be home before CC season, should I go to Haiti this summer, or wait until the pick up trip, etc., etc., many many things rambling around in my head. Yet the worse of them all is Isaac’s death. Now let me explain, before you think, well get over it already.

As you all know as a parent, and then a single parent, we are juggling a lot of balls in the air at any given time. A LOT of balls. If we keep moving, and as I say to my students “keep our head in the game” we can manage it. But, if one ball drops then it kind of messes with all the other balls. Isaac’s death, or I should say the cause of his death was my “dropped ball”. You see for some reason, and I can’t explain why, just didn’t keep up with it last year; Isaac wasn’t protected from ticks by my usual application of Frontline. So a tick that happened to have been carrying erhlichiosis bit him, and Isaac, who happened to be a Doberman and middle age, came down with the chronic form of the disease. Doberman Pinchers and German Shepherds are statistictially higher in developing the chronic form. So I have been living with the guilt of knowing that I killed my beloved dog, and on top of that, it was a long-suffering illness. He was my dropped ball, and it broke into a million pieces, never to be put back together again.

This scares me….

I will drop the balls again…

Tuki not chewing her food was freaking me out simply because my natural response is to ignore it, let her work past her phase, while explaining to her that she needs to chew. This is how I have handled every other phase, calmly work through it until the phase has passed, but then I remembered how I was too casual with Isaac, and now it was Tuki’s teeth on the line… yes, I was over-reacting because I am fearful of what I didn’t do.

I will eventually have to forgive myself for Isaac, eventually, but it wasn’t his fault, but he paid the price for my mess up, so it will take me awhile to let it go.

And then of course, I think to when all the girls are home…a lot more balls, and I will have to work even harder to keep them in the air…..and this sends a little fear down my spine. I will adjust to 3 daughters, we will eventually function as a family, but oh I pray that the next ball I drop is minor and I can call a “redo”.

I so wish I could scream “redo, redo” when it comes to my actions with Isaac……if only…..

Quick Post

Thank you everyone for your responses....you are right in focusing your advice more on me and my behavior than Tuks. It was/is my response that I was more upset about than hers. I have read all the text book suggestions/advice, and recently learned this behavior is call "pouching". In my reading, I also found that many parents initially responded like me, but then changed tactics. From being in the classroom for years, I knew not to let kids see you get upset. It never helps the situation and you kind of open a can of worms when doing so. So I was asking myself.."Why was I getting so upset with Tuks and this behavior" I think I have it figured out, but I will have to share my thoughts later..... So I just wanted to say many thanks in your suggestions.. They are much appreciated!!!! Be back later..................

Toddler "Tude" and Mama "Tude" Issue

Lately, like in the last 1 1/2 weeks Tuki has been stuffing her mouth full and then holding the food for like, well it feels like forever. I, of course don't handle it well at all. I know this behavior can rot the teeth out and it stresses me out to no end. Plus sometimes she will actually start drooling out the contents. Now, mind you she doesn't do it all the time, but I'd say at least once to twice each day.

How do I handle it, well like I said I handle it badly and that is why I am blogging about it. I need help. I, first, of course try to ignore it, doesn't help, then I get mad and tell her to "chew the food", doesn't help, she just says "no". Then I yell at her to "CHEW", thereby letting her know that this is an issue that bothers me, also sending her the message, that yes, as a two year old trying to gain control over a situation, you now have it... like I said, I handle it poorly, then sometimes I have even manually moved her jaws to help her chew, of course this is not effective. Basically it becomes a big scene, to the point, in the end she is crying and I am really mad. Once she finally does chew the food, I praise her right away, we give each "high fives" and then I explain that she should not stuff her mouth and hold food again, in which she replies "OK". But of course, she does do it again....and so we go for another round of the above.

I know that this can be a behavior in kids that were in orphanages and have experienced a shortage of food in their life. But Tuks has not had this, she had a great foster family, and she has been home close to two years (May).....so please help if you have been through this with your kids and how did you deal with it, and how long did it last....

Thanks in advance for your help...because I am at my wits end.................

One Year Ago

I have nothing to say....I am thinking of a lot of things, hard decisions, but can't seem to blog about any of it...so I have nothing...............so I am following the Guatemalan blog theme for Fridays and posting a "1 year ago" picture of Tuks.

Mission: New Activities

A fellow parent got through to Haiti..no news for me and my girls, some movement, just not for us. So I need to continue to try new activities to help distract me from the WAIT.....

Emotionally Exhausted

Ok, I just read more hang ups to expect along the way in the adoptions. Will it ever end?? We didn't receive news last night because no one could get through. It wasn't for lack of trying, just no one got through?? Then I read that there are hang ups at the very end, taking months for VISAs to be granted..this is a US issue. I am either really emotionally tired, which I am, or I have run out of patience, which I had little in the first place, or maybe I am just now becoming realistic, which I hope isn't the case. I don't know for sure, except that it is almost a year since I had started this process, and not much closer to home coming for either girl....ok enough whining..I think I am just really emotionally tired and need a break from everything for awhile. So I will just keep pounding my body physically with running and lifting, since I feel strong in that area, and it helps keep my mind off of the process, at least for a little while anyway...

Race Day Photos

I am in the light blue shirt with black pants (in front of woman in pink). This is about the time, before 2 1/2 mile mark, that my side ache came on with a vengeance!! I was able to shake if off by mile 3. But it was still down hill with each passing mile. It wasn't my best time ever, but it wasn't my worse either..it just felt like it was the worse time ever.

IN the Snow

It was warm today, so we played IN the snow today. The word In is the key action. Tuks has sled through, walked through, ran through the snow, but until today, never IN. In the past if she had fallen down, she would freeze and I would have to get her up, but today we worked through all her fears. She was crawling IN, walking IN, lying IN, eating it IN, falling IN and getting up from IN, and she couldn't get enough of it. I had forgotten the joy of snow. It had been many years since I was around such a young child and quite frankly I forgot my joys of it from my childhood. It all came back today, and it gave me a visual of what future winters could hold for us as Tuks gets older and she has sisters to play "King of the Mountain" with... Again a lovely day in Snowville.....

It was also a reminder of our view of things when we view from a far, or read a lot about a subject, versus getting involved and in addition to reading, gain experience. It makes life so much more interesting when we are IN the middle of it..

Spring Calls

Black-capped Chickadee(sparrow sized)










White-breasted Nuthatch(sparrow sized)



























Pileated Woodpecker (crow sized)..Many times I have been able to watch their mating dances around tree trunks.





These 3 birds, from my yard (I didn't take pictures) are vocalizing new calls, which tells me spring is close, even though the amount of snow leads me to think differently. I always listen to the birds. They are more correct than any other indicator I have come across.
This is also good news that I like to hear.

Hopeful for News Today

We are to hear news from Haiti today/tonight. Many families are hopeful that their files have progressed into the next step. I may receive Cheetah's IBESR number. This photo captures my attitude as I anticipate the arrival of the news, and how I feel as I recover from yesterday's race........

Can one have it all??

First off, my apologies for no pictures lately. My camera's batteries are dead, and frankly I haven't had time or interest in getting new ones yet. So, it may be a while longer before there will be new pictures of Tuks in action.

Today, I ran a 5-mile race at noon. My friend E came over and brought Tuki to watch her Mama dieing.....It wasn't pretty. I hurt more in this race than I have ever in any other race I have ever ran. Good thing it wasn't my first or I would give up the idea of racing again...ever!!! It was a sunny, warmish day and over 800 people ran the course. There was a hopping party after and Tuki, E and I had a good time, then we came home, E bought, and then we ate; PIZZA. After, we took the dogs for a walk while Tuki had a wagon ride, and finally we visited neighbor A.

Tuks is sleeping, Mama is tired, and hopefully E had a good all around day as well. All is cozy in Snowville...........

A friend told me that it is impossible to "have it all".i.e. be prepared to run a good race, be a single Mom, prepare healthy meals, work full time, on and on it goes, etc., etc., etc., ..what do you think???????