I'm a little sad tonight.
I informed the head CC coach that Panda's adoption may be complete by next September instead of Novemberish. I also let him know that I was informing him now so that he can think about whether he would even want me to start the season next year with the possibility that we may have to be creative to finish the season out. He needed to think about it and I completely understand that. BUT, then he said that he'd like for me to stay until the end of practices next year, instead of what he has allowed me to do for the last two years since Tuki has been home. You see practice goes until 5:30pm, but I have been leaving right at 5:00pm give or take 10 minutes. This prevents me from hanging around with the athletes at the end and basically bonding with them in a different way than running. Which is a necessity.
Thirty minutes doesn't sound like a big deal, but several things;
1. my daycare provider is already making an exception for me and Tuki by keeping her until 5:00pm.
2. I am extremely antsy the closer it gets to 5:00pm, and more than ready to leave and pick her up.
3. Tuki is and has always been a 12 hour a night sleeper. So since school has started she wakes ( I wake her up) at 6:20-30 am, and she wants to go to bed by 6:30pm. So that means if I stay at CC practice until 5:30pm, then pick her up around 5:45pm, I may have 45 minutes tops with her every night for 2 months. NOT GOOD!!
So the reason I am sad is that I realized tonight, that this will probably be my last year coaching CC until maybe when the kids are older. It is a bitter sweet year, and because I am somewhat a feminist..in the sense that I think women and men should be treated fairly and equally when doing the same job, it really bugs me that men can continue to coach after they become fathers, and women usually have to hang up their coaching shoes when they become mothers!! NOT FAIR!!
I knew I'd have to quit in a year or two anyway, but I guess I didn't think this would be the last year.
So I am sad, and I plan to enjoy this season to it's fullest
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
A Little Sad
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3 comments:
The choices that women have to make for their families is so frustrating when men don't have to make those same choices. :( Enjoy this season and know that it will be worth it when your new little one comes home. Remember, once a CC coach, always a CC coach. My dad is in his 2nd year of retirement from teaching yet manages to stay involved to some extent with CC and track. :)
Kerri and Ruby
I used to get frustrated at the things I had to give up to be a Mom and watched my husband do no such thing. The way I look at it now...there is nothing better than being my kids Mom. No job, hobby, lack of sleep, loss of my abs!, or abosolutely anything else can be of more value than raising wonderful little people.
Ah yes. I have given up my coaching job (gymnastics) after 17 years to be home with my 13 month old, home since May from Guatemala. I've loved the job for years and I was very sad at the prospect of leaving it, but I must say that I am way too busy to miss it now that I'm back at work (teaching). The thought of leaving my daughter in the evening after leaving her during the day is just unfathomable.
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