Single Parenting - what works for me

Responses after announcing that I am adopting again.
"How do you do it??"
"I can't believe the fearlessness that you approach life with"
"How do you plan to do it with two?"
"How do you have time to blog and be a single parent?"
"It must so hard as a single parent."
"Do you have a partner to help?"
or worse yet, no response at all, just no acknowledgement of the child(ren)

It doesn't offend me, it just makes me think "what's the big deal" So I have pondered these thoughts and came to a conclusion as to why I am not afraid to become a single parent of not only one child, but rather two or more. Maybe it will help someone else decide to add to their family through adoption. Single or married.
So I have made lists categorized into several areas.

1st Category:
What in my life has prepared me for this chapter in my life.
1. I was born in America to two great, honest, hardworking parents who believed anything was possible when you set your mind to it.
2. I grew up on a 500 acre, 100 Holstein cow dairy farm.
3. I worked on this dairy farm from sun-up to sunset, even during the school year, between the hours at school.
4. I loved growing up and working hard on this dairy farm.
5. I learned to multitask and prioritize.
6. I founded and ran a 1000 patient, 60 volunteer non-profit wildlife center for 5 years for zero money.
7. I worked a second job during this time for money, so I worked 110 hours hours each week from my late 20's to my early 30's.
8. I have earned two B.S. degree and one Master's degree.
9. I have a good, stable job and I work with great people.
10. I have orchestrated and am paying for two phases of house remodeling. I have another phase to do until I feel it is completed.
11. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister.
12. Both my parents and all my grandparents have passed away. I have learned that life is short, don't run away or stay away from something because you are afraid of the unknown. You may never get the chance to relive that moment or dream.
13. I have traveled widely, worked, and lived a rich and full life before I became a mom. It will still be there while and after the kids are grown up.
14. Even when I think I am all by myself, the truth is that God is always there holding me in the palm of his hand guiding me and providing me with the means to accomplish many things.

2nd category
What have I done to afford and enjoy my child, soon to be children.
1. Placed Tuki on a schedule right away. She sleeps 12 hours each night, and has since 6 weeks after she arrived home. She eats every two to 2 1/2 hours.
2. Practiced attachment bonding from the "get go"
3. Dropped extended cable and went with basic.
4. Shop once every 2 weeks, I buy a whole lot less.
5. Buy her clothes and toys from rummage and second hand shops, or the sale racks. I plan to continue this until she is in kindergarten, then brand new clothing. That is when kids start noticing anyway.
6. I used Target brand formula, Walmart brand diapers by day and Huggies all night only at night.
7. Kept my single family membership at the YMCA so that I can get my workouts in. Very important for my mental health. I am more relaxed and more patient when I work out.
8. Keep spending to "need basis" and the 'wants' will have to wait for a few years.
9. Using some of the tax credit to pay for Gabryel's adoption.

3rd category.
Surprises since I have become a parent.
1. The love I feel for Tuki is intense.
2. She is the first person that I have ever made a commitment to. I struggled for awhile but now I like it.
3. I have lost some of my single friends.
4. I have made mom friends
5. People that I thought would be involved in my/her life really have no interest in her or spending time with me anymore.
6. One male role model fell through, but one stepped up and took on the role with a vengeance.
7. Kids need a "mom" and "dad" figure in their lives. Tuki isn't looking to bond with every male she sees since Eric has been spending time with her on a weekly basis.
8. When she is happy, I am happy.
9. Sometimes I get restless if I communicate with just her all day.
10. On my days home,if I can get out of the house at least once each day, I am content.
11. Raising kids is not the same as raising dogs.
12. I still love coaching, learning new things and being an educator.
13. I miss her when I'm not with her, another new thing for me.
14. Loving her has started healing my wounded heart. I may be open to dating again, not because I need to, but rather because I want to, but this time I will hold out for a good man.


And once GDRE comes home all I have stated may mean zip, because another thing I have learned is that kids always prove you wrong!!!!!!!!!!!! But that is all part of the ride!!!!!!!!!!!!