The Name that Binds

One year ago today I received the email that my paperwork was OUT of PGN. That is the Guatemala government side of the adoption. This announcement meant several things.
1. Owl was legally my daughter. I was legally her mother.
2. I would be traveling within one month to pick her up.
3. My life as I knew it for over 40 years was going to drastically change.
4. It also meant the life and people she knew up until that point was also going to drastically change within 1 month.

A bitter/sweet time depending on who's perspective you look at.

Her legal name at that time was birthname #1, birth name#2, birth last name#1, my last name.

Naming children that were adopted is a VERY controversial issue in the adoptive family circle. Some say don't change a thing, some say change it all, some say add to the birthname, and yet others say change only one name. I am not sure there is a correct way, but I found a way that felt right for me and my children. This is how it goes:

Name #1: A name that I choose:
Owl's name means learned or educated one, a tool that will open many doors for women
Hawk's name means strength of God, a trait that will take him far in life
Name #2: birthname #1
Name #3: birthname #2
Name #4: my mom's or my dad's middle name
Name #5: Last name

A bit long, you bet, but I could not justify removing any part of the name that tied them (Owl & soon Hawk) to their heritage and birth families. It is part of who they are. But I also wanted to give them a name that would forever bind them to their new forever families, also a part of who they will become.

While reading one particular section of the book Does anybody else look like me? by Donna Jackson Nakazama, I know I did the correct thing.

"Because kids between five and eight are so interested in what characteristics their family "group" this is an excellent time to begin telling them details about their family background in all its rich variety--giving them a platform of pride to stand on which is so solid no one, and no comment, can shake its foundation....." a sense of belonging and knowing to whom one is related give multiracial children confidence to cope with challenges" they may face one day."

She continues later.. A multiracial child's name can be a point of departure in and of itself for conversation. I have many times, gone over the meaning of my son Christian's names with him, as a way of articulating the rich texture of varied ancestries he claims.

I plan to tell the story of Owl's name many times to her.

I will tell her she has four names. Two from her birth mom, one from me and one from my mother, her grandma. All courageous women, that helped make her who she is and who she will be one day.

Her birth mom because she had the courage and love to want something better for Owl, a life better than she felt she could give her, so she made an adoption plan for her.
My mother because she was an incredible woman of strength and valor as she battled cancer for over 15 years, raised 5 children and I can't really remember her complaining about her "deal" in life. Her wish and prayer to God was that she would take this cancer if he would spare her children. So far we have all been cancer free.
Lastly, I feel I have been courageous in my walk in this life. I try to walk without fear of the unknown, rather I hope people say I have lived life to its fullest.

I hope my children will take on life with vengeance, courage, joy, abandonment, love, along side of common sense, hard work, honesty and loyalty.