I am glad that I read about raging, because today when Ve entered into one at bedtime, I could handle it ..emotionally, not sure if I handled it well enough to help her feel secure. Tuks even handled it well. I think Ve is missing her home in Haiti and all that goes with it. She had two huge crying (raging) inconsolable spells today. One at the doctors when we gave her the TB injection (understandable) and one again tonight at bedtime. I just got her settled down about 30 minutes ago, and I didn't force a nap today. Was she too tired, has the days built up, was today too much? I don't know but tonight was rough, OR does she just hate going to sleep because she did this meltdown on the last night while I was visiting her in Haiti this summer??
Oops now I need to see about Tuks, because she started crying. I'll be back......
I am back, was Tuks copying Ve, or is she holding it all in and then it is coming out in huge waves??? Another question that remains unanswerable at this time. I read somewhere that children at home that have been adopted have a surge of feelings when a newly adopted child comes home. I know Tuks was only 5 1/2 months, but who knows for sure how the brain works.
I guess Tuks didn't handle Ve's crying as well as I thought in the first paragraph.
Good thing I have time at home to work out these transitions before school starts back up for me.
So today;
The dentist informed me Ve's teeth are in the age range of a 3 year to 5 year old, and also in great shape. He also stated that teeth have a range of being 6 months off from estimated age.
The doctor who is from Dominican Republic asked Ve in Creole how old she was. She said 6, just as I had thought. But the question is; is she six going on 7 on Christmas Day, or 5 going on six Christmas day. On her re-adoption day in six months, I think I will just change her BC to state 5 going on six. Born in 2002 rather than 2004 as it states now. He also felt with her being 3'7", and 37 lbs (little small), and size 11 1/2 feet, that she was also very likely six. So he will write the letter to my school district verifying her age so I can enroll her in kindergarten in January. I really want to get her baseline education started soon.
I am also on a poop quest, and Ve most likely has some allergies. She has a chronic cough, and very dry skin. The doctor called it the Allergy Triad. We are treating her for the cough and I am to purchase some special lotion to help her skin. If her cough is under control then we will begin her immunizations for school.
How am I transitioning?, I guess as well as I can be with a major change in our lives. I will be glad when this new life feels like the old "normal". My chant is six months to 1 year!!!! Everything has really for the most part gone well, but a change is still a change.....
Monday, December 15, 2008
Raging ain't pretty
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4 comments:
Sounds like y'all are doing great-rages and all.
Not that you asked, but I agree on the 5 going on 6 age philosophy. That's what my two are (if their bc's are correct) and remember this summer Ve was right in between them as far as size? Bigger than P but not as big as M.
Thanks for keeping us updated as far as the transitioning. This is the first child home that's the same age as mine so I'm very interested as to how the adjustment goes, language, school, etc.
Wait...I just went back and read. Mine were born in 2003-just turned 5 in October and November. They won't start K until next fall. But if your gut, doctor, etc. thinks Ve passes for 2002 birth then I say go ahead and change it.
Good luck!
Wil had the bad cough when he came home as well, in fact all the kids at the O had it when I was there. It did go away on it's own in a week or two.
As for the skin, it is so dry here and poor Wil's skin has taken a turn for the worse since getting here. I have tried everything, literally...everything! I now bath him once a week and just do hands, face, bum each day. I smear him in Gold Bond Ultra stength cream and he is good to go. On bath days I take him out of the tub and only blot his skin with the towel and then rub him in the cream, this seems to help.
We have yet to do any vaccines but he did have a blood draw that he screamed bloody mureder for. It took two lab techs to hold the poor guy down!
I'm planning on doing the same with L's bc when she gets home, even though her Haitian document states she will be 7 December 22. There is simply no way that she is only 14 months younger than her sister, more like 26 months. She has done the raging too, not last time because there were so many kids around for her to be distracted by. I fully expect it when she gets home, and it is difficult to handle (and exhausting) but it also served as a bonding mechanism---they have lost so much, and it is the way to experience their grief. She may be testing you to see if you leave again too. But Ve is a resilliant little thing and I have complete faith that she will be fine. As for Tuks it could be that she has already begun to form that comraderie as her sibling, and it could easily be a combo of empathy and deep rooted rememberance.
We can't prevent their pain, but we can love them like crazy and hopefully ease it. Remind me I said that in a few months, will ya?
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